Rachel Cieslewicz

Miles and Smiles :)

2010-07-14T22:36:00.003-06:00

How is it that the more miles I am able to run, soar through time on my bike, and fly and drive to races in amazing place = joy, happiness, freedom and bliss? How is it that the more I help others live their dreams, feel good in their bodies, believe in their own amazing potential = happiness, satisfaction, and inspiration coming back to me?

I love this circle that never ends. It is spiraling upward all of the time. Even when things are difficult for me, or hardships hit, I live them, can feel them, react at times, but ultimately use them as platforms to jump even higher. That is what is happening. I love it. I am so in love with what I have learned over the first 3 decades of my life. I feel I have lived and died a thousand lives. Each time I learn so much but also learn that the depth of what is out there to live and learn is that much greater than I ever could have imagined before.

I still owe a lot of money in dental bills. I still live in a room with my son in my dear friend's basement, but I am so happy. I have a beautiful running company Newton Running out of Boulder Colorado who keeps me in shoes. I have the amazing Team Unlimited company Xterra who has always stood by me and believed in me even when I was sick. I know who my real friends are, I know what my body is capable of and what it will do very soon. I love that!

I love it that I am able to continue the circle again of me helping others live beautiful lives and they helping me to do the same.

What have I learned for certain among 1,000 other things? Dream big and live. Because those dreams will come true. Mine are coming true every day.

Christmas Prep

2009-12-20T05:45:00.004-07:00

Wow. I can't believe it is almost Christmas. This year has been super fun preparing for it as my four year old son, Canyon, finally gets it and is sooooo excited! I have never bought a tree before, but he really wanted one, so during a break from work I went out and got one. Tree, stand, lights, ornaments. Yikes! That was expensive. I wanted to have it up and ready for him to decorate when I took him home from daycare as a surprise. Trying to put the tree into the stand, and get it upright and straight was a big job for me. I finally got it in, stood back and it was still crooked. In the meantime I filled a huge gallon pitcher of water, came back to adjust it, and somehow managed to knock the entire thing over on top of me. I knocked over the water in the process. Ugh. By the time I got the tree back up, decided I loved it crooked, cleaned up water and pine needles from everywhere, I barely had time to make it back to work. Made me start to lament that I had to be the mom and the dad for him. Just for a moment though. It is okay. It made it all worth it though when I brought Canyon home later that evening and he told me it was the most beautiful tree in the world. Almost made me cry. He is so great!

Santa is another story. Which leads me to yet another example of how much I love and appreciate all of my incredible clients. Brent Lorimer whom I personal train and give massage, asked me if he could visit Canyon as Santa. Of course! What a surprise for him when Santa came bursting through the door yesterday along with an Irish elf. They were so funny. They told Canyon they lived in Ireland now as the North Pole was getting too cold for his old bones. He even spoke with an Irish accent. He was great. He teased Canyon and myself (especially on my inability to figure out my camera), laughed a great laugh and told Canyon exactly how he liked his cookies and milk. Canyon has been reminding me of that one ever since! I think he made both of our days. Thanks Brent!

Other than that, Christmas for me has come so fast. I am healed from my previous injury to my pubic bone with my bike, I have been through another root canal, raced a world Championship and placed 7th female overall! You can read about that on my New Age Athlete site. I didn't end up racing cyclocross nationals unfortunately as my time away from my son once I returned from Hawaii was growing too long for both of us. Now, I am working a lot, resting for next season, and dreaming and planning of all of the wonderful things to come in 2010. I just turned 30 on the 12th of this month. I made a promise to myself that my 30's were going to be the best ever. I am so excited for everything!

Down and Out

2009-10-25T21:25:00.002-06:00

I have celebrated and cherished the last couple of months finally seeing health, fitness, and my inner light improve. Everything has been going up! This last Wednesday put another dent in my progress. I worked early in the morning from 5-9 AM, went on a fabulous 8 mile tempo run and then went home to hop on my road bike for a couple hours. The ride went well and I was on my way home when my bike malfunctioned.

I was at an intersection at a red light balancing in my pedals. The light turned green and I powered hard to get on top of my gears. A few strokes into it and all of a sudden my forward motion turned into a crazy propulsion clear across the busy intersection. How I didn't get hit or hit a car or go down all the way? Skills, or help or I don't know. When I came to a stop still upright, I noticed a severe pain in my pubic bone. I limped over to the side of the road to check out the bike damage.

Apparently my lock ring on my cassette cracked thus allowing the cassette to come loose. This in turn threw my chain (I thought it broke, but nope) at exactly the wrong time. Somehow even with searing pain in my groin, I rode my bike the last couple of miles home. When I took my bike shorts off, I was appalled to find they were soaked in blood. So I was off the the ER. Again. Hours later, with over two inches of stitches sewn into the flesh below my public bone, I went home.

The next morning I somehow worked, no workout though. Went to the miracle chiropractor Greg Freebairn (best I have ever been to by the way) where he put both of my SI joints, back, neck, femur, and pubic ramus back into place. Friday I worked a full day. By the end of the day I was hurting more than ever. In my efforts to massage and train and take care of my son and many of the people I love, it led to the muscles around my back and pelvis to completely lock. Friday night I decided it would definitely be a good idea to go to a weekend yoga seminar I had planned to attend. I made it through about 20 minutes of it before my body locked up so hard that I had to lay down the next two hours and could hardly get up to go home. Saturday I was flat on my back with ice packs all day. I started to worry that I had fractured my pelvis in my accident. I certainly hit my top tube hard enough. Ironically the pain I felt the most was not in my pubic area but in my low back and sacrum. Today I received some much needed body work. The back still really hurts and I can barely walk. But, I can stand up straight.

I have never had an injury where swimming, biking, running, yoga, walking, basically everything is out. I am beginning to panic. I have Xduro worlds in Hawaii Dec 6. I have cyclocross nationals in Bend, Oregon Dec 10-13. I am out of commission. I am doing my best to stay positive, breathe, put good nutrients into my body, sleep, and intention a miracle that I will be back running and biking with a completely healthy body in time to be ready for my races.

Breathe, focus on the highest good happening, appreciate what I do have, love and accept the help that is being offered by so many caring friends to me. Thoughts become things I believe. So I intention my body to come back soon ready to go fast and strong and light! Thank you everyone who has shown me encouragement and offered me help. It has helped me so very much!

And it Just Keeps Getting Better

2009-10-01T21:28:00.008-06:00

Picture of Trey, the PR dude of XTERRA and a super awesome friend!Last Saturday I had the extreme pleasure of racing the XDURO half marathon trail run up Wheeler Canyon to Snowbasin Resort. This was in conjunction with the XTERRA triathlon nationals. Nationals moved to my home state of Utah from Tahoe this year. Even though my heart ached to be racing the championship, I had to put it in perspective and be pleased and excited to race the trail run and see many good friends.

Race morning was crazy as I promised a friend I would pick him up from his hotel in downtown Salt Lake City on my way up to Weber County for the race. Leave it to me, the girl who always gets lost while driving to go the wrong way (In my home town on a freeway I have driven hundreds of times. Ya.). I was so busy talking when I picked him up, that I took the wrong freeway (I-80) and didn't notice until I got to the airport! And of course I immediately got off that exit which I forgot also meant we were going to be taking a very early morning tour or the terminals! Yikes. Nice start.
My good and ever so patient friend Jeremy from Ketchum!
Finally 25 minutes delayed, we were back on I-15 heading to the race. First we had to drop my vehicle off at Snowbasin resort and then take the last shuttle down to Pineview reservoir for the start. We had only 30 minutes until race start to change, catch the shuttle, pick up race numbers and be on the line when we got to Snowbasin. Ahhh!!! Breathe Rachel, breathe! Is what I had to keep reminding myself. We will make it.

In the parking lot I was in such a hurry. I stripped down and threw on my race clothes (I found out later that was much to the surprise and utter speechlessness at the time of my poor friend--sorry again Jeremy!) and took off running to the bus barefoot and Newton shoes in hand. We made it to the race start thanks to our rock star bus driver with 3 minutes to spare. I picked up my number and ran to the start line blowing kisses to the XTERRA crew along the way. Ya. That was my warm-up other than the fact that my blood was pumping to the near bursting of my heart in anticipation.

It was one of those races that when I toed the line, I somehow knew was going to be awesome. Sometimes you just know. From the cannon and my first step, I knew this race was mine. I was so excited to be there running, feeling well, dancing forward and upward (2,600 ft elevation gain in the race!) through the dirt and rocks. Such a timeless feeling.
Me and Dmitri sporting our winning medals after the race. Closest I have to a podium shot as my camera malfunctioned at the wrong moment!
I was shocked and surprised when I saw the 11 mile mark. I still felt great. I could have run a lot longer. Was the race really almost over? I led the women's field from the start and traded places back and forth with a couple of the men. One in particular whom I will talk about in another post, Dimitri, is a 16 year old boy whom recognized me from Nationals in Bend. I effortlessly finished the last two miles and breaking the tape as the overall female winner (11th out of men and women) was such a sweet satisfaction. This was the first overall win I had since I became ill last July. It couldn't have come with any better company than my XTERRA family.
After the race is over a glance at the finish line and the beautiful scenery behind it!

National Xduro Trail Running Champion!

2009-09-15T08:18:00.008-06:00

I was thrilled to have the opportunity to head to the fabulous Bend, OR on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Just as sweet was my reason to go. I packed up my running clothes and Newton running shoes and left for the airport. An hour later I had landed in one of the chillest towns I have ever visited.

First stop was to pick up registration in the Charming downtown Bend and meet up with my “XTERRA family” as they are the reason we have such a phenomenol world wide series to compete in. I love them. In the first five minutes, I had at least a dozen very welcome hugs and kisses.

The rest of the day was spent looking over the course, fueling, laughing with my friends and enjoying live music at the local Little Woody Beer Festival. I couldn’t imagine a more perfect place and set of moments to further sweeten this race.

Race morning, I drank my green tea and a small protein shake for breakfast. Then I stretched and did 10 minutes of yoga sun salutations to energize my legs and lungs and focus on my goals for the race. Competition was stiff as the best runners from 25 states were there including NIKE championship athletes among others.

As the gun went off, it was one of those slow motion moments as I realized how much this race meant to me on so many levels. A year ago I had almost passed away due to massive parasites and the residual problems I’ve been working to overcome since. A year ago, I didn’t know if I would ever race again. Today as I toed the line in my hot pink Newtons, my heart sang with joy on a perfect sunny fall morning. I was excited to race, feel good, and inspire and be inspired by others.

The gun went off and everyone ran. I felt lucky that I had experience on my side as I set a pace slower than I wanted to, remembering this was a 13 mile race with hills and twists and switch backs. As we ran past the glistening Deschutes River and wound through the trails, my early pacing decision paid off as I started passing the female runners one by one. My much loved Newtons must have really stood out as several of the spectators started calling me “Pink Shoes!” I loved it. I smiled. As I crossed the finish line I realized I had met my goal. I won the national champion title for my age group and placed 5th overall female. Next up is worlds in Hawaii on December 6th!

Moving Forward :)

2009-08-16T10:25:00.005-06:00

One thing I have learned in life is all things change. It is a universal law. Many things I gladly let go, while others I clung to with tears in my heart and a stinging to my eyes. I have watched my life change drastically over the last couple of years. My son's father left us, yet I had my greatest race season yet. The next year I thought I would have an even better season, but instead almost died from parasites and my own pushing of my body, mind, and soul until there was just nothing left.

This last year has been spent learning many more lessons of life. I tend to be fiercely independent. I got to a point though that I realized I was going to die if I didn't seek help. Some people told me I was courageous to battle so long alone. But what it really was and sometimes still remains are, my feelings of pride, cowardice, and of being unworthy of receiving from others no matter how much I give to them. To swallow this, allow my heart to soften and breakdown the chains by which I had bound it so tightly so I could find trust. Allowing people whom really wanted to help me have that opportunity. Wow. I never knew it could take so much.

This year I learned and remembered that everything has a place. I have received care from the western and eastern medical modalities. Countless forms of alternative care. The universe bringing me to races that there is no way I could have been able to afford to go to them, yet there I was. Inexpensive airplane tickets. Kind strangers allowing me to sleep on their floors and spare bedrooms. Generous race directors comping my entries on faith that my race would fare well. People I didn't even know inviting me to eat and speak and share each others stories. Wonderful new friends that I hold dear to my heart were met all along the way, sprinkled generously throughout it all.

One of the greatest helps I have received is from a kind dentist I had never met, but heard about the situation with my teeth. The extreme pain and infections from the decay, the tremendous amount of energy it took my body to deal with it ever since last fall, I don't know how I made it. He offered to help me with my teeth at his cost. The amount of work I needed and still need done is absolutely astounding to my mind, but he is beautiful and perfect and I will forever be grateful for his generosity. He lives in St. George so I typically leave on a Sunday, drive 4 hours to my parents' with my son. Stay overnight, in the morning get a wonderful southern Utah trail run in. Meet my sister to give her a swim lesson, which I love! Then she watches my son while I spend the remainder of the day with Dr. Jennings. He is a true artist and perfectionist in every way shape and form. If anyone has teeth that they think are beyond help or just want an incredible dentist and either live near St. George or don't mind traveling there for superb dentistry, let me know and I will put you in contact with him.

On top of all of this, little by little I am beginning to get to know my family again. It has been a long 10 years of misunderstandings on both parts. There were times when I didn't think I would ever seen them again, but now, partially because of my letting them in and them lightening their judgments, I feel closer to them than I have since I can remember.

Huge lessons learned, especially in trust of others, the universe, and my body. Sounds strange perhaps, but I know that for me to reach my greatest potentials in all aspects of life, trust is such a critical component. So what I have to look forward to the rest of the year are more awesome races (1 La Sportiva and 3 Xterra Xduro 1/2 trail marathons coming upon the horizon). The best thing about that, is I am finally coming into form. Other things are wonderful people and beautiful things in life as well as the possibly of achieving the best health I could ever imagine. 2nd chances (and for me 10th, and 20th, and on and on) in all aspects of life. Change is good!

More soon on new sponsors, a new team, and on and on. So excited!

Jupiter Peak Weekend

2009-07-12T20:12:00.003-06:00

Just like my beloved and very much missed triathlons, I am falling in love with the trail running scene. This year has been a very tough one with injuries, illness, etc. But, the contrast to the moments of joy and peace and excitement that are beginning to fill my life once again have so much more meaning.

Jupiter Peaks trail run in Park City, UT was just one of those moments. My body is still not in full form, I am 10 pounds over my typical race weight. How that happened? I'll just say it doesn't matter because it is all changing. My body is becoming healthier each day and with that, the weight will drop. On race morning, it was one of the most perfect days I can remember in a long time. Perfect weather, perfect everything.

Art drove me to my race (yay for me not having to drive!), when I got there, I saw so many familiar faces. Local friends who were there to race. Others working the scene. New racing friends I met from La Sportiva and other races I somehow found my way to through out the summer. I felt at home and excited. So excited that when I went out to do a warm-up, I ran about 10 steps, found friends, talked, turned my head, talked some more, found more friends, turned my head, saw a new face and made a new friend, and on and on until race start. Uh ya. So at least we know my voice and my spirit were warmed. I feel like when my energy is soaring, nothing else matters. I can do anything at that point.

So the race started. I focused on my breath, the moment and not worrying that super fast Megan Kimmel and Caitlin Smith were far up the road. I am not where they are. Someday soon, I know I will be back. In the meantime, I set out to remember why I love to run, adore nature, community, being in the moment. My uphill to Jupiter Peak went quite well. The down hill was a bit slow as I am still a little gun shy about my falls I took at Mt. Diablo and Barr Mtn. I am getting over it, though. I laughed at how I could run up a hill relatively fast, (3,000 ft. is that a hill or a mountain? Dunno, it was up!) and get smoked in the downhill by as much as 10 minutes by some of the runners who crested the top at the same time I did. I will be there soon. I know it.

I ended up third overall woman. Yay! It is my best finish since I raced at Diablo. I feel so lucky. I thought often about giving up on the season during the times when I would get sick again, or have to work through another injury. But there is no way I would do that. My heart would never let me. Running and biking and racing in general reminds me to live and love life with all of its ups and downs.

One of the coolest things of all about finally beginning to come into form 6 months later than usual? I still have lots of racing left to do this year and an eager mind and body to do it!

Seattle Came to Visit....and Extended Her Stay....

2009-06-22T20:42:00.002-06:00

Here in the 801, June is typically HOT with the occasional summer rain shower a welcome blessing (just so it is not on race day!) This year Mother Nature decided to mix things up a bit. So starting right around June first, it began to rain. Okay. This is cool. Then it kept raining, and raining, and raining. After the first week, most were saying, okay, sun? And it kept raining and raining, and then I get word from my friend in Seattle that it is sunny. Hmmm....getting worried. Way too many rides and runs in the rain and mud.

I am beginning to feel a bit Januaried. Not good. Each winter when it is dark and gray, I swear I am moving, but then the sun comes out. And I stay. But this year, I was beginning to think Seattle was looking pretty good. I thrive on sunshine. My entire aura and energy is maintained by sunshine and hugs. By week three, I was done. Bail out plan A, B, C, and D were in the works. I can't handle being injured and sick and dealing with gloomy gray skies. But then today happened.

The sun came out. The weather warmed, and I saw the valley so beautiful. More than ever. Lush and green and calm. Sweet. Seattle went home. My mind is clearing, my heart is dreaming, and I am remembering. I have been down before. When I came back, it was so beautiful and wonderful. I will be back soon. The sun is coming out. When it fully shines, it will be the greatest and most beautiful moment to infinity I have yet experienced!

Rise and Fall, Ebb and Tide. This is the way of it.

Believe

2009-06-10T22:07:00.002-06:00

This is a picture of me last July right after the Downieville bike race in California. So dirty, so tired, so happy and full of life. I miss that strength. I miss that shining light. All I wanted to do was smile. It was my favorite part of me. Now pictures of me show no smile and my eyes are enveloped in a sadness I can't quite shake. I am embarassed about my teeth. What has happened to them. I look at my body and yearn for the funny tan lines and little tired muscles after a day of racing and enjoying sunshine. Tears fall every day along with feelings of vulnerability and grief for what once was. I used to think it was a no brainer to accept 'what is'. I'd been through a lot like many others.

This one has knocked me completely off my feet and sent me rolling and banging to the bottom of a cliff. I am working my way up. Pain. Physically I have never experienced so much pain in my life. Emotionally and mentally some days I struggle to keep going. I need to keep remembering to take one step at a time and that little falls back are there to help me keep the focus. Gratitude. For all I have. Acceptance. For what is at this moment. These are my tests emotionally. Ouch. Purpose? I want my little boy to have a strong beautiful mommy. There are lots of adventures, races, moments in our future and I want to be there with him to experience them. I just need to remember to keep believing in miracles. I need some.

Coming Back

2009-06-09T22:02:00.002-06:00

Since last July, I have had a difficult time all of the way around. From being debilitated by parasites and injuries through the last half of 2008 to finally realizing I am not invincible in the first half of 2009. Wow. What do I have to go on? My immune system and my teeth seem to be the sad remaining reminders of the parasites. I have now lost 3 teeth. It is a daily battle mostly emotionally to rebuild my teeth. I truly believe I can and will. Some times I am losing and sometimes I am winning. All I know is I will not give up. In addition, any time I over do it, I pay for it. I get sick, I get another injury, I am too tired to do my day to day things of working, training, raising my awesome son. But then the sun comes out again and I find within my heart that spark that will never dim.

I have visited these feelings before about 10 years ago when I experienced a near fatal head injury donating blood. I knew in my heart that no matter what anyone else said, I would be back. I relearned to read, finished college, had a son whom I am raising as a single mom, and have a great career as a massage therapist, yoga and pilates teacher. Not to mention many beautiful memories racing triathlons and trail runs with the Xterra circuit. Better than ever. It took a while, but I got there.

Now the pulling of my heart to get out and live is much stronger than the physical ailments I am experiencing right now. Life is ever changing. This moment will not last forever. I have now run two races this year. One was the Salt Lake City half marathon. I ran a 1:27:44 and finished 8th overall female out of 2,544. Not bad for a sick girl with very little training. And now the diablo 25k. Again, minimal training, a really hard fall, and I still finished a solid 3rd place female over all. Then there is the road bike racing. I am climbing well, endurance is building, I am hanging with the big girls (yay!!!) and a deep inner strength is speaking louder each day that I am coming back. The voice will soon call so loud that it will drown out all of the tough things right now and make them seem small.

What have I learned? Appreciate always what you have right now. Love your health. Love beautiful days. Love the difficult days as they provide a contrast as to just how beautiful the good ones are. Find reasons to feel joy and relish in it. When you look in a mirror, look deep into your eyes. Fall in love with the soul you see. Remember that is the real you. The real me is not the one physically that is seen by most at the moment, with tired eyes, injured teeth, bruised body. The real me is light and perfect and anyone who can't see that isn't looking deeply. Soon, I will shine inside and out again. Right now I am gathering strength.

And when I come back, I will be stronger than I ever knew I could be.

End of March?

2009-03-24T15:40:00.001-06:00

Ok. Now this is getting crazy. My year is flying by and I seem to have missed the break. I am working on bridging back and getting on board. I am creating a cool website for athletes looking for healthy holistic alternatives to all of the disconnecting craziness out there and to bring one back into their body in order to reach their greatest potentials. It will give its humble debut in a few weeks. Working on taxes, hanging out with my cutest little boy in the whole world, giving massage,teaching yoga and pilates, running, and riding, and my own yoga practice.....and on and on.

Notice I didn't put swimming? Yep. That was not a mistake. I am switching gears this year for sure and putting a huge X on my tri's for a while. It has been a tough decision, but this little body of mine needs some more TLC. At this point I am planning to get back into them within a year or two, but in the mean time, I am giving trail running a real go. Plans are to race as many as I can of the La Sportiva mountain trail series as well as to hit some Xterra Xduros and end with nationals and worlds there. For biking, I am finally getting some sweet help with my skills and am going to have a great time mixing it up in the dirt this year all the way around. Sooooo........that is that. First race is coming soon. Super psyched to get it rolling.

A Sabbatical?

2009-02-04T22:23:00.002-07:00

Wow. I can't believe I haven't updated since November. To where did the time fly away? Anyway, hand is healed, shoulder from the crash is in the works. What else? Turned 29. Canyon is four. Still working on rebuilding my body and teeth from the parasites. I am also looking for my own little apartment or little house or whatever. I love my roommate, but both Canyon and I feel it is time to find our own space. If anyone has suggestions on something that is not too outrageous, puhlease let me know!!!!! But for now, training, working, dreaming.....of warm weather and a healthy (fast little) body!

Last weekend's cross races...

2008-11-05T21:23:00.002-07:00

So check out the Ladies on Wheels site for my take on the races from last weekend. I wrote the race report for them! Other than that, good things are coming back except for the fact it is snowy and sooooo very cold today. I am one who loves warm weather so much that if I had an opportunity to move to a warmer winter place, I would love it. Until then, I'll keep racing my crazy sports as my own form of coping!

The Color Purple

2008-10-29T06:08:00.002-06:00

I will spare the details, but this year has certainly turned into my year for physical pain. Last year was emotional. Which carried into this year and turned physical? I don't know. Saturday I crashed hard at the cyclocross race. Going from 25 mph out of a short steep hill and wiping out in a loose corner at that speed into gravel. OUCH. The good thing? I forgot about all of my other ailments and ow-ees for a while.

Pretty much my entire right side is still one big swollen purple bruise. Like I think I have said before. I love purple. Just not when it is on my body! By the way, thanks to Art, Bart, the nice guy who went and bought me a bag of ice (was I really that out of it not to figure out who that was?), Mike K, Terry, etc. who helped me out and dealt with little girl crying big alligator tears.

Here is the interesting thing. Physical pain is one thing. I've had a lot of it over the years and can deal with it. When you are told though that most likely you have a broken hand and that is what you use to make your living, emotions can over ride all else. I already have been struggling financially like many since I split up with my sons dad. When the thought entered my mind that I may not be able to work at all for a while, I panicked. I started wondering how I would pay my bills, take care of my little Canyon, and on and on.

The strange thing. I was sitting on the grass leaning against Art's car freaking out. At the same time, I was about 15 feet away from Terry McGuiness . T-Mac is so amazing. He was the commentator for the day. He is positive, kind, strong, beautiful, and living with cancer. Thinking about how incredibly he appears to handle it made me choke up even more. At least I can ride my bike. At least I am supposed to recover fully from my parasites, etc. etc. Watching him in his grace was such a reality check. Talk about a person who lives the big ring. I can only hope to someday become as strong as him.

Here is the lucky thing. I got my hand x-rayed that evening. By some miracle, I just had a deep bone bruise. So still a lot of pain, but I know it is going to feel better much sooner than a break would.

So what did I do? Monday back on the bike. On the road--tried the dirt, but the bumps didn't prove at all forgiving on my hand. Tuesday even dragged out my road bike and went on a nice beautiful ride to the top of Millcreek with my good friend Jamie. And, I gave a massage without a problem.

Thank goodness the sun always comes out after a storm. Looking forward to lots more sunshine.

Hoping I wouldn't be sad

2008-10-21T22:09:00.003-06:00

In the ideal world within my head and heart, I would be boarding a plane tomorrow morning to continue my journey of love I have racing the Xterra off-road triathlon series. This is Worlds. I qualified in May and worked all summer and part of fall in an effort to go and show myself what I am capable of in this rigorous sport I have become so addicted to. Instead I am home trying to put my body and life back together. I know there will be other races. But still. Being real. I am very sad right now.

Reminder

2008-10-20T09:25:00.004-06:00

One of the things I need to remember is that no matter how good I become at something, there is always a new level to aspire towards, something else I can learn. Or as I have experienced lately, setbacks. It is all part of the journey. Not just in sport. These peaks and valleys I keep thinking of. Universal law. To each and every thing, there is an equal and opposite pull. I know that well. But I forget. So very soon, I am going to rise above my hard times and enjoy yet the highest peak I have ever experienced. I am trying to be open to allow the universe its way of bringing it into fruition.

At the cross race (my first this year) I was reminded by many of the need to enjoy where I am. Again. Despite being sick, having no clue how to go over the barriers properly (thus falling all over the place and losing lots of time each of the 3 barriers), and of course it being my first cross race, I managed to pull off a third place finish in the women's A field.

After the race, I was excited, but immediately rewound to the race and criticized each point I could have done better. Good grief. Another lesson. Okay there were some who had a better race than I. There were some that it just wasn't their day. Just like for me, for whom this past year just wasn't mine for racing well in my triathlons. Thank goodness for Dayna, Mama T., and just about everyone else who watched me beat myself up, stop me and remind me to celebrate. There is always another race. There is always something to learn. But be happy for the opportunity to be out on a perfect fall day at an awesome race put on by Utah Cyclocross . Be happy I felt good energy wise which is the first time during a race I have felt good in a long time. Be happy I finished, kept the rubber side down, was in the company of good friends, wow. I am so very lucky.

I know what I need to work on. Barriers, yes. Faith and a good attitude. absolutely. I am learning to be okay with who and where I am. It is hard for me. But I am getting it. Thanks for everyone who helps me and lifts me to whatever is next.

Reality Check

2008-10-15T15:06:00.003-06:00

So when it comes to my athleticism, why do I seem to be the only one not to notice when my season is over? Now that I have officially been forced to end my season early and call off my Xterra Worlds race (don't want to admit how many tears that one took), I am finally looking back over the season to find out what happened. Hmmm.....Over the years when I have felt even half-way decent, I seem to find within myself the unbelievable ability to suffer. Squared. I have had several races where I literally force myself to race hard until pass out and wake up in an ambulence. I did learn to back off from those episodes, but I apparently still have a lot to learn.

So the last few seasons even with crazy chaos going on in my non-racing part of life, I seem to like to race week after week after week. At times I'll do 2-3 races in one weekend. The problem is when I notice I am not recovering. The logical person would back off and take a break. Being me, I tell body to keep going and we'll take a break soon, which turns into later and later. Finally my poor body rebels and forces me to stop.

Which leads me to my actual end of my season which was Scofield which I won by over 7 minutes. Tired. The next morning I woke up and couldn't walk. I had nearly ruptured my achilles tendon. My version of resting was doing lots and lots of Astanga and power yoga, swimming, and riding Super Crest. Not to mention racing more bike races to leave out the run and a few triathlons which I am certain didn't do my achilles any favor. Now looking back, I don't think that was such a good idea.

Subpar races were the least of my problems. My health is so scary right now, I am just that. Scared out of my mind. Between my inability to recover, an achilles injury, emergency room visit half-way through the Brianhead Epic, dicovery of massive parasites in my colon (main reason I got injured and sick in the first place), being chronically tired and losing teeth because of them. Now I also have my little heart completely broken looking at the pieces my body is in.

New mission: Try to put body back together. No wait. Rejuvinate body completely and give it the rest and the sleep and good things it needs so I can be healthy and happy and crazy (with hopefully better judgement of when to stop) again.

Why must I do this? Number one is I am a single mom with an adorable son I need to raise. One of the worst things I have ever experienced is my little boy asking his mommy why she can't get up. The next worst is him being afraid of me because I'm sick and can't take care of him how he needs to be cared for. Ya. I apparently can be THAT selfish.

Number two is being a single mom, not working is not an option. So with that said, I want to feel good when I work. My line of work depends on it. By the way, for anyone living or visiting the 801, I now have many more openings available for massage sessions, personal training, yoga, and Pilates if you are interested. Yes, I was working out that much!

Wow. Thanks to everyone who saw what was happening. Warned me to back off, and when I didn't, loved me anyway.

So some hard lessons learned, a long road ahead, but I know I will become healthy again and be giving my share of ass kicking soon.

Bitter Sweet

2008-10-06T21:25:00.006-06:00

Race Morning at Beautiful Lake Tahoe
My 2008 Xterra Nationals weekend was one that taught me the toughest of lessons, yet showed me a very welcome breath of humanity. I will never forget it. First off, the fact I made it there is a complete miracle. Because of my health and fund shortage, I had pretty much written my Nationals weekend off. One of my dear brothers (not blood, but may as well be) Lance called me up and told me he couldn't imagine Nationals without me. With that said, he sent me a plane ticket he found "laying around the office". So, just a couple days before the race, all of a sudden I was back in. I called Xterra to make certain I still had my slot. Yep. Cool.

Delta is the airline I would be flying with. Uh oh. They typically had a $125 bike flying price tag each way. I double checked to make certain. Good hell. They now charge $175 plus a $50 dollar 'second' bag fee. And they wonder why they went bankrupt? You have got to be kidding me. There was no way I could pay the $450 total price tag they wanted for my 23 pound bicycle. I spent the entire afternoon calling anyone I knew and some I didn't know looking for a ride for my favorite Cannondale Scalpel to Tahoe. No luck. So with leap of faith I would find one to race when I got there, I took my measurements, pedals, and saddle off my bike and flew to Reno without her on Friday morning. Lances too cool girlfriend Gina picked me up from the airport (took the day off for me. Yes, people are so amazing) and dropped me off at Lance's. He didn't get home from work until late, so we didn't make it to the venue until Saturday.

I made a promise that this year I wouldn't race the trailruns the day before my big races. I get so excited about them that I sabotage my important races. I made true on my promise until this one. The reason being is that I checked the field and knew that I was capable of winning. The top woman in the 10k gets a free airplane ticket to Hawaii which would be my answer as to how I would get to my Worlds race at the end of this month. Surprisingly I felt really good. I finished the race aboout 30 seconds faster than last year when I raced it in the snow. I was so excited as I had won. That is until the second place girl decided that I certainly must have cut the course. She got a couple of her friends to second her opinion. Xterra policy is that if two people confirm a discrepancy, then whoever the accused is guilty? Wow. I am both sad and sickened. Poor Kahuna Dave whom I love so much disqualified me. That one stung. All I can go by is my own knowing that I ran an honest course. I would never cheat. Ever. The thing that hurt more is that I knew I only had one run like that in me for the weekend due to my health. Big breath. It's okay. It's just a race. I hope the girl who accused me is happy and that she can feel good about her win? There will be next year. I know. The other thing I feel bad about is imagining Dave in his position. What would I have done? I hope he knows I won't take it personally. He is a very amazing person and hugely responsible for putting Xterra series into motion. Because of him, I have many happy memories racing over the past few years. Still, I couldn't help but shed a few tears.Robert Larioza of Look Cycle USA Saved the Day and Let me Borrow One of Their Awesome Bikes! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!

But after the race, I had another mission. Find a bicycle to race the next day. I had decided that no matter what, I was racing if I found a bike. I talked to a few people who had possibilities and even a sweet girl who raced on the Saturday sport race that offered hers if I found nothing else. Beautiful Colee (one of the announcers for the big races) said she would make an announcement for me. In the end, Robert from Look bicycles came to my rescue. His bikes are so light, carbon, beautiful. I almost didn't ask him if I could use one because, hey, I race for Cannondale. Somehow I got brave and went and asked him what could I pay him to allow me to ride one of his incredible bikes on Sunday morning. Without a question or a blink, he smiled and told me I could just take one as long as he got it back after my race. Wow. I was speechless. I was wearing my Monavie/Cannondale clothing. Clearly raced for another company and it didn't matter. He saw I needed help and stepped up to the plate. He had a perfect size small for me in both his hard tail and full suspension models. I decided to try the hard tail. I went and got my pedals and saddle and they put them on, helped me get fit to it and I rode it around. Shockingly, even though I have been on a completely different bike all year, I felt at home. Yes! Now I was excited! I was really meant to race this one.

Saturday was cold and rainy. They actually canceled the swim for that day's triathlon due to the swells raging through the lake. Sunday morning was different. I woke up to chilly, yet bright blue skies. I was so excited. I gathered my things and got into Lances 4-runner for the 45 minute drive to Incline Village. I had my breakfast with me but as I took a bite, something felt wrong. I had only bitten into bread, but I broke one of my molars completely in half. I have a long frustrating history concerning my teeth. The sad emotions instantly welled up and overflowed into sobs. Instead of putting on my race face and focusing on my performance, I cried as the blood seeped into my mouth from my injured tooth. The pain was the least of it. Fear that it would hurt so much that I couldn't race, or I would make it worse, or on and on and on my brain and heart wouldn't stop panicking. I forgot about eating. Forgot about drinking. I ran and found Janet (Xterra President) when we arrived at the venue and cried to her. I just couldn't stop. For a moment I decided I shouldn't race. She looked at me and said, "You came all this way and went through so much to do this race, you do it." That was all it took. Poor Lance came with me as I picked up the Look bike from the friendly company. I cried as I set up transition, donned my wetsuit and headed to the water just in time for a quick warm-up.Swim Start
Shocking what I wreck had I turned into. When the gun went off, I made a decision to finish. No matter what. I swam as best as I could. Slower than usual, but I did it. I ran up to transition got my bike and started riding. Here was the problem. I was so afraid about my tooth, that I didn't dare eat. I hardly drank either. Not good. I pedaled cautiously up Tunnel Creek road and onto the Flume trail. I took each leg of the bike moment by moment. I didn't dare push too hard in case I caused more bleeding or myself to bonk. While I rode, I enjoyed noticing how my bike for the day was so light and responsive. It literally did everything I could possibly want a bike to do for me. It tracked so well and went over every rock without a complaint. Climbing I took easy as well even though it is my forte'. Despite my minimum effort, it climbed like a dream. Wow! How lucky am I to have experienced that? I still love my Scalpel of course, but I was very happy on the Look as well! At the end of the bike, I got back to transition to realize my shoes, etc. were MIA. I looked frantically for almost 8 minutes. Crap. Tears streaming down my face. Again, I finally found my gear. Someone had dumped their wetsuit, etc. on my stuff and completely covered any sign of it. I pushed my feet quickly into my shoes and ran out of transition so very fast. My race the day before and my lack of hydration and nutrition came soon to haunt me. I decided with all things considered I needed to back off my usual pace and just make certain I finished in one piece. I confirmed in my heart as I finished the first of the two-lap course that I had indeed raced an honest race the day before as I knew exactly each twist and turn throughout. That is all I wanted for peace in that drama. I finally crossed the finish line with my mouth throbbing and tears again streaming down my face over 20 minutes slower than my time the year before.

Bitter sweet. That is all I can say. Physically and emotionally I have been on quite the rollercoaster. I have felt that no one cares. It made me wonder why I kept trying. Initially I thought that because I made it to the race, that maybe by some miracle I was to win. Nope. 6th place in my division despite everything is actually pretty darn amazing. I am learning it can't be about the win. That is nice, but it is not everything. I was brought to the race to remember that I have such an incredible family in the Xterra world. So many of them played a role in reminding me how loved I am. I saw familiar faces and met new faces. All of them hugged me, helped me, reminded me that there is so much to Xterra than just the racing. From Look who gave me a bike to ride to John who gave me Motrin so I could survive the race pain wise, to Dave and Trey and Tom and Janet, Gene, etc. etc. etc. I was reminded that I need to and can rise above my current challenges.
Me Almost Finished with the Run
I am home now. I am shocked and stunned about the entire weekend. Yet, for the first time in quite a while I am at peace. Nothing has changed in my health status. I can hardly eat with my broken tooth. Finances are still a concern, but I know I will be taken care of. I always am. I simply forgot. It took an insane weekend to remind me. Being stubborn certainly has its pros and cons. I am back on track and determined to come back healthier and stronger than ever. It feels good to know it.

Been a While

2008-10-06T07:34:00.002-06:00

Geez. I didn't realize it had been so long since I'd written a post. I've received a flood of emails asking me for updates! So sorry everyone for not writing. Okay, so here goes! First my health. It is strange that in some ways I am feeling better. I found out what the main thing was that was wrong. Parasites. I don't recommend them. I had four kinds that had essentially filled up my entire colon. Where did I get them, I don't know. I don't eat meat, but I have been to some 3rd world countires, swam in many different lakes of which I am certain I ended up drinking some of the water while I swam, etc. Stress weakens the immune system. I have had a lot of it lately. My doctor thinks that because my immune system was down, that the parasites took full advantage.

With those buggers feeding off everything I ate and robbing me of my nutrients from the inside out, one of the things that were largely effected were my teeth. I've had many problems with them over the years. 11 months ago they were stable. With everything health wise I have gone through over the last few months, they took a big hit. Currently, I can hardly chew. I lost one of my molars which broke off at the root. Yesterday, on my way to race, I broke another molar in half. Being me, I still raced. Nerve pain is hard anyway. Racing an Xterra with that and being an emotional wreck because of it did me in. I cried the entire hour before my race, I cried the entire bike leg, and once the race was over, I cried for another hour. Needless to say, I didn't have a very fast race. What is wrong with me? The thing I am really frustrated about is the cost of dentists. I already can barely pay rent and take care of my son. If I didn't have some very dear amazing friends in my life, I also wouldn't be racing. I will talk of them soon. So if anyone has a dentist solution for me, let me know! I can't believe how nervous I am about this whole thing. My body isn't recovering very well either. I am taking many herbs, etc, etc and working with a very good natural doctor to get my body healthy. It takes time though. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have no patience. One of these days, I am going to learn!

The other thing? No matter what, I am going to come out on top. I am going to rebuild my body, fix my teeth, take really good care of my son, race faster than ever, and help other people as I have been helped by so many lately. One of the lessons I am relearning, is that there are many people who care. I am learning to accept help and love and find peace in knowing that I have many friends. So thank you all. Later today I am going to talk specifically about my weekend in Lake Tahoe for Xterra Nationals and the amazing things that happened.

For now, I've got to get ready to catch an airplane

Climbing Back Up

2008-09-08T20:26:00.005-06:00

Okay, so I am having a difficult time. Again. Peaks and valleys. I love riding the peaks so much! When you hit the valley floor, and look up at the mountain you've got to climb, sometimes it seems impossible.

I put so much responsibility on myself. Be a great mom. Be a great racer. Be a fantastic massage therapist, personal trainer, healthy chef, etc. etc. It is a balancing act. You would think that knowing and trying to do all of the healthy things I know that I would never get sick. Unfortunately I am. The problem is I don't look sick. I am very good at acting and pretending everything is fine. Ending up in hospital again finally gave it away to a lot of people including myself.

It is a good thing I am a fighter. But this one is proving to be a tough battle. I really really like to win. Unfortunately I am losing this one. I have had to retreat for a while and make a new plan. The one I was following, race and pretend I'm not suffering isn't working anymore. One of the toughest things at the moment is backing down early in the season. I am injured (achilles is still bothering me) and I have some scary things going on with my abdominal region and my teeth that have taken a change for the worse. With a broken heart, I have had to back way down from training and it looks as though I am not going to be able to race my Xterra Nationals or Xduro trail run nationals.

I am keeping my Xterra Worlds slot hoping things will turn around by then. I am doing everything I can to get better. Hopefully if I get my health turned around I will finally be able to race again as I know I can. I have silently struggled for eight years thinking I could manage things by myself and fix myself. I am learning that sometimes instead of being the one who takes care of my world, I need to accept help too.

Lessons in letting go, pride, being a human (I keep hoping I'm invincible--nope), learning to embrace different emotions, facing fear. Wow. Just when I thought I was reaching a peak. I lost my footing and hit the valley hard. Luckily I have yoga. I have some friends who are trying to understand, I have sunshine, my son, I can still ride---just a little slower. I can still work. I can face each day one at a time and focus on healing.

Art, Ramon, and many others keep reminding me that I can either keep racing sick and continue to get weaker, perhaps never recover, or I can be brave and face everything and trust and prove I can be healthy. Then I can race like I used to years ago.

It is just so funny how I realize how much I love to compete in my triathlons, cycling, and running events. When I can't race, I feel like I've lost my best friend.

Tough Road Back

2008-08-25T12:45:00.010-06:00

Hmmm....what do I say? I keep thinking that I'm Wonder Woman until proven otherwise. Again, and again. My Xterra last weekend was tough. Having done no real intensity for a month and then hitting a Regional Championship hurt a bit. I did finish, but at a cost. I had a really upset stomach the entire bike and had to soft pedal when I needed to go hard. Then on the run, first run in a month. A bit (ok, a lot) painful. But, I finished. Wasn't the time I hoped for. Wasn't the place I hoped for. Sometimes you just have to take finishing period as a victory.

Sorry, no pics from this one, but Xterra must not have noticed my limp as I ran. They put a picture of me running on the front page of their site! Sometimes I am so lucky!

So then my next brilliant idea was that I needed to go and race with my team at the American Classic in Brianhead. It was a four day mountain bike race with a 6 mile prologue on the first afternoon. This was followed by the next three days averaging over 50 miles and 6,000 feet of climbing per day up to 11,300 feet. I thought this would be a great way for me to get back into shape and ready for my national and world championships I have coming up.

The prologue was fine. Got the jitters out of me. Art won his and started the big days with the leaders jersey! Sweet!

The first big day was great for me. I finished and felt fine. I hydrated well and ate better than I am typically able to during a ride. Good. But that evening, I don't know if I had food poisoning or what, but I threw up all night. Being me, I still raced the second day. I don't remember feeling quite so horrible during a ride. Ever. I could hardly drink and couldn't eat the whole ride. After this race, I started to realize I was in trouble. I threw up constantly and was dizzy and had a massive headache that led me to seeing three of everything. Finally late afternoon, I made history in terms of my own personal self. I begged Art to take me to the ER. I thought maybe an IV and I'd be good to go. All better, right?

Well, eight hours and two saline IV bags and a potassium bag later, poor Art drove me back from the ER to our hotel. I passed out instantly. This was after midnight. My race was over obviously. Art had been holding on to a strong third at this point and was supposed to race the final leg at 8 AM. In the morning, I couldn't get up. Jeremiah whom I believe races for Trek was staying with us offered to take Art to the race start. I didn't argue. I fell asleep again until 9:30. For the record, my typical wake-up time is between 5 and 6 AM. Me sleeping in even past 7 is unheard of!

When I first got to town, I raced the prologue and then drove Canyon to my parent's new home in Toquerville. I decided that since I wasn't racing the final stage I would get a head start home and go pick him up early and then be back to the race for the finish. One problem. No keys. Crap! Art accidentally took them to the race. My parents were so nice though. I called them and told them what happened (leaving out most details of course!). They offered to drive Canyon to me to save me having to drive. Now thinking about it, me driving would not have been a good idea seeing as I still couldn't walk in a straight line. So thanks mom and dad!

Sadly, due to Art not getting the sleep and other things he needed since I apparently was completely helpless and out of sorts on Saturday, Art had to drop out of the race half-way through the final leg. I feel so bad and so responsible. This race was important and he was doing great. I am so sorry Art. But thank you so very much for helping me!

So anyway, here are some pics from the race.
Art and Canyon Ready to Start the Prologue (By the way thank you Bart and Roger for watching C while I rode).
Fellow teammate Sue Butler and Her awesome husband Tim!

Superman Matt Ohran did above and beyond the call of duty. He sacrificed his race for our team and instead turned his wheels in for a wrench. Ho took care of bikes, business, etc., etc., etc. Thank you so very much for everything!

Matt and Art working miracles on Art's wheel. Three flats in one race?!? They fixed that!Even little me managed to blow out my rear shock and completely finish off my front brake pads. I love my bike!

Game On!

2008-08-14T20:22:00.002-06:00

Wow! I have been soooo incredibly busy lately, I hardly have had time to blink. So hopefully the miracle has happened and I will be healthy enough to race on Saturday for the Xterra Mountain Region Championship! I feel so out of shape! I haven't run a step for almost a month, haven't had time to swim for a week and last bike ride was Monday! Good Grief.

But, at this point I am going so stir crazy, I feel as though I could compete in a full Ironman and win just with the craziness in my head of wanting to go hard. Could be a perfect recipe for a great race! As long as my leg holds up and I play smart, oh ya and hopefully haven't added too much girth to my belly not being able to keep up with my usual late summer regime, I just might pull off a good one! I'll let you know how it goes. Oh ya, and I'll also update on what I have been doing the last few weeks. Of course it has been a 90 mile an hour whirlwind of craziness. Oh ya, and I'll also have a picture show to go with it....

A Day Just For Me

2008-08-04T20:11:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I get so caught up in being the people pleaser. I find that when I get busy, the first thing to go is my own self care. For the past couple of months, I found myself in an extreme form of that scenario. I was getting less and less sleep. Eating lower quality foods, not taking vitamins, forgot about juicing vegetables, rarely got massages or even took time to breathe. So as with any other time this has happened, I ended up with an injury. It seems it is my body's only way of getting me to slow down.

YOU WOULD THINK I WOULD LEARN! I do, I really do, but I forget fast too.

I am so lucky. This injury which can take many months to heal really is on the accelerated program to wholeness. Each day is better and better. So the last few days, I have been able to ride my bike on the road. I was so scared, but again each time was better than the last. Just short trips. To yoga, to swimming, to my gym where I work.

Today I got brave. I had the whole day finally with no clients, no responsibility until the evening which I am spending with Canyon. So I went on my favorite ride in the whole wide world. I rode up Big Cottonwood Canyon on my mountain bike. I rode up Guardman's Pass, and then I rode the Crest. What a wonderful day to do it. There was very little wind. I saw two people total! I love Monday mornings! I had the wildflowers and the butterflies and the most beautiful blue sky all to myself. I rode from there into Millcreek Canyon. Here, there were a few more people, but of course that was okay. I rode and enjoyed with the thought always in the back of my mind to protect my achilles, but it was okay!!! I zipped down the Canyon and hooked onto pipeline and flowed all the way down. Back to the canyon road I pedaled back home. It been soooo long since I have done Super Crest. I felt as though I had come home to my joy. The real reason I love to ride. I love nature and serenity and pushing my body.

So my ankle is a bit stiff tonight. I iced, I made my juice, I read a little. Then I picked up my son.

I think I need to have a day just for me more often.

Nervous

2008-07-30T19:42:00.002-06:00

Well. It has been 11 days since the onset of my injury. Still no running. Still no biking. I have been swimming more which is good and practicing lots of yoga and some Pilates. But it's like a big piece of me has died. When I can't ride or run.......

Still icing every day. Still stretching and massaging. Lot's of good water. Lot's of veggie juice. I am determined get my body to heal what takes some 6 months in much less time. I know it's on it's way!

Yet a positive attitude is mixed in with tears of frustration. Whenever I can't do what I love the most and I miss it this much? To me that confirms, yet again, how much I love it!

Sidelined.

2008-07-25T06:16:00.000-06:00

Sometimes things just don't go our way. So the morning after my Scofield triathlon, I rode my bike and did a really intense yoga session. Everything felt great. When I was riding my bike again after yoga, I felt some pain in my achilles tendon. Hmmm....? That's strange. Throughout the day, the pain worsened and by the end of the day, my usual hyperactive running and dancing around from place to place was reduced to a limp. BUMMER.

Monday I practiced yoga again and then went for a swim. Well this time it felt a little better for about the next hour after, but then hurt even worse than the day. before. Not good. So, went up my favorite canyon (for which I named my son after--even though it is just Canyon-most people don't know which one!). I iced as I do most days anyway up to my neck in the creek feed by snow run-off! Typically this feels awesome, er, once I warm up again. Didn't seem to help the inflammation in my lower leg.

Since then (seems like forever) I have not run or biked because it hurts to walk. I have done some very gentle yoga. I had to miss my cherished Tuesday yoga session I do with my friend Jeff Silverstein. I have iced in the creek every day. Iced with pack several times a day. Massaged the hell out of my calf and foot, juiced veggies everyday and tripled my vitamins.

It has been a while since I've had an injury, especially a overuse injury. But again. I start letting my little ego take over. I get sooooo cocky that I can just race every weekend for almost 4 months straight without a break?!?! Yikes! For the last 5 weeks I have been talking about backing off a little to recover. I've felt tired for about that long. But every weekend there is such a fun race that I can't imagine missing. So of course I race it. Well friends. Here is about the only way I seem to take breaks. One day soon I hope I'll learn otherwise--not necessarily the best thing to be known as the ADHD poster child!

So in the meantime, I know that achilles injuries can take a long time to heal. I decided I am on the accelerated healing plan and am going to be at least back on my bike next week. Yes I missed a 10k running race yesterday, yes I will miss one of my favorite local road races tomorrow, but I know that when I am healthy and in top form for my races coming up that won't really matter, I will be soooooo happy!

Plus I can still work out. Pilates, lots of swimming (which I desperately need anyway), gentle yoga, massage, icing, healthy food. I'll be back so very soon!

Scofield Results

2008-07-21T15:36:00.000-06:00

Scofield Resevoir in Central Utah
Wahoo! Finally another win. Perhaps anything after Downieville feels easy?!? The Scofield Olympic distance tri is one I tend to do quite well at. I think mostly because it is typically hot and the elevation is over 7000 ft with some good climbing on the bike. This equals good for me! Two years ago I won, last year I was second, and this year I won by over 7 minutes! It was a beautiful day and it was one of those that I knew I would win before it even began! Gotta love it!
Top end of the long transition zone with a peek of the swim

Closest to a podium shot I got. Ramon and Gene! I need your photography skills!

Unfortunately I do have a few gripes about the promoters. Typically they are great, but this year they cut a few too many corners. First, I had to pay more for my campsite which I wouldn't have minded, but when I got there, they gave me the run-around for an hour trying to find the ONE person who knew which was mine. Not what I necessarily want to deal with when I have a race early the next morning. The day before, I stopped by 15 minutes after the time started to pick up my registration. I was 3rd in line, yet it took me 45 minutes to pick up my packet because they weren't ready. Then, after I killed myself in the race, waited in the hot sun for the next 3 1/2 hours for the awards ceremony just to receive a medal?!? Last year and the year before they had a payout as well as a complimentary entry for the winner into next year's race. This year with lots of corners cut, more people racing at a higher entry fee, and no prize purse. As much as I like this course, I also don't like it when they don't appreciate the athletes who pay a lot of money and time to go to races. I feel as though next year I will be best off racing somewhere else.

This brings me to another series of races with a company who has NEVER let me down. Over the past couple of seasons, the XTERRA series put on by Team Unlimited out of Hawaii has become my new love affair in racing. I have raced everything from the local trail run series to the world championships held each year on Maui! Each race has been tough (you definitely find out what you're made of!), yet completely professionally put on and my loyalty to the promoters grows with each race! Anyone and everyone who can possibly make it, I highly encourage you to come out and join me to race at the Mountain Region Championships (yes! it is a World's qualifier) in beautiful Snowbasin above Ogden. If you don't swim, check this out! Xterra has launched the Xduro series and me being such a trail runner am just aching to race one. They are off-road half marathons! They even have a the inaugural national championship in Bend, Oregon and Worlds at Kualoa Ranch on Oahu in Hawaii! This is where Jurassic Park, Lost, etc. were filmed! You can't get much more beautiful a venue than that!!!! Because the trail run is the same time as the Xterra, I obviously can't do both, but I'll be at Nationals and Worlds for sure! Email me if you have questions. When there is a company, product, or anything out there that is that amazing
-just ask about my coconut fetish :) I just can't promote Team Unlimited enough. They take care of all of the athletes. Think FAMILY. That is how each person is treated. Perhaps it's their Aloha way?

Downieville

2008-07-14T08:04:00.000-06:00

Wow. What a trip! I just got back from doing way more driving in four days than I prefer to do in a month. I don't even have to question whether it was worth it. When you put together an awesome travel companion, epic mountain biking and scenery, and catching up with many of my race friends, of course it's on my list of one of my best weekends ever!

On Thursday we left for Reno right on time, er 3 hours late!?! Luckily we didn't have to be anywhere at a particular time. Typically even an hour in the car drives me nuts, a 3 1/2 hour drive to St. George I'm driving eveyone else crazy. Poor Art, 6 hours to Reno, 3 more to Downieville, 1.5 to Tahoe, and then 10 back to the 801? I suppose you'll have to ask him how he faired with a ADHD girl who can hardly sit still for 5 minutes let alone hours on end. When I told my friend Lance (whom has been my companion on many roadtrips) we were driving out instead of flying, he told Art, "I'm sorry man, good luck!", the thought that came to mind was "Mean boys!".

Anyway, the trip was great! I found I knew many more people than I thought. Because I race for Monavie/Cannondale, many others knew me that I didn't even know. I know them now! My friend Nancy commented a couple of weeks ago that, "Rachel knows no strangers". I personally like it that way. Engon (works for Scott) who stays at my place en-route to events was there, many cool Xterra friends, Emma, Laura, Mario, and more. Lance and his new girl friend Gina, and the list goes on! Even Bob Kinsley (friend formerly of the 801) came to cheer us on and hang out a bit after the race.

So about the race? Well, lets just say I am getting better at downhill, but I still have a long way to go. The 3000 foot climb for me was no problem and I was one of the first women to the top in my field. After that I found out still that 5200 feet of descent if still a lot too much for my nerves to handle. I was much faster than last year and finished a respectable 8th place in the women's expert field, but I need to learn to trust more that I can go downhill at high speeds and keep the rubber side down. It's coming. I especially know I didn't ride to my potential considering the explosive amount of energy I still had after the race! Art also placed 8th in the men's expert field which is amazing considering he has only raced twice this year!
Dirty girl head to toe right after the race.
Mandatory post-race bicycle storage--slightly different than a tri scene?!?
So after the race I was my usual hyperactive self, laughing and running and dancing around non-stop for about 4 hours (while everyone else was barely moving) before I finally came back to Earth just in time to watch the bicycle jump contest into the river. This is soooo cool as a few of the competitors pretty much put on a full bmx trick show before landing bicycle and all into a swimming hole.

We didn't stay for the late night festivities and instead headed to Tahoe so we could ride the Xterra Nationals Course. The next morning I received a very welcome surprise call from Gene Murrieta who lives in Incline Village. He heard from Emma I was in town. It was great to catch up with him before and after the ride. Emma met up and rode with us. I was so excited to show Art my favorite places and views in Tahoe, but with all of the CA fires, there wasn't much to see. Next time! After the ride, I was adamant that we swim in Lake Tahoe and did so with a happiness I can hardly explain that I have when I get to be in such beautiful refreshing water and scenery.

We left Gene, Emma, Tahoe, and a weekend full of wild memories and headed home. Today. I am completely sore and bruised, tired, and happy!

Delayed 4th Report....sigh......

2008-07-09T22:06:00.000-06:00

My Perfect Little Angel
Time just runs away with me sometimes. Ok. Almost all of the time. I feel as though I wake up each morning. Run around like a crazy and before I know it it's night and I literally pass out the moment I lay down. Unless I start thinking to much.....

Anyway. The 4th was great. Spent the morning with my brother down in Happy Valley. They are moving to Hawaii in a few weeks and man am I jealous! I love Hawaii. One day maybe.... Anyway, it was great for Canyon to spend time with his cousins. He slept overnight there and got to watch the fireworks. This was great for me as I had a mountain bike race in Solitude in the morning and it was so nice not to be begging someone to watch him while I raced. I actually even got a bit of a warm-up!

Again I was opposite girl. I schooled the climb and then got waxed on the downhill sections. One of these days I am going to learn how to rally the downhill. I'm much better than last year, but if I want to win, I've got to get rid of my chickens! Anyway. I ended up fourth. Not too bad for a tri-geek!
Playing at the park after the Solitude Race
What's next? Downieville Classic Mtb Race in Northern California. If doing this race doesn't show my determination to master my downhill skills (or at least prove I'm nuts?) nothing will. I raced it last year and had a similar experience as I climbed like a pro and descended, I don't even want to admit how slow it was. Let's just say I was having fantasies of throwing my bike off the mountain and running to the finish. I swore I'd never go back. Man I forget fast! Stay tuned for this result. Hopefully it will be much better. If not, I suppose I could take the highest bidder in teaching me how to go downhill at least as fast as I ride up?

Swim

2008-07-03T13:48:00.001-06:00

I need a good swim coach. Any ideas?

Sitting on the Fence

2008-06-29T05:31:00.000-06:00

Before I start, Canyon's first motorcycle ride = very happy boy. Yes that is one of my bicycle helmets and yes I do have to adjust it larger when Canyon uses it! Part of mommy having a tiny head and Canyon getting his dad's huge head!
I seem so often to feel as though I am stuck in the middle. I was the middle child of seven kids. I was too 'old' to do what my younger siblings were doing and too 'young' to hang with my older siblings. This was a blessing and a curse I suppose. On one hand, I often felt lonely and as though I didn't fit in to what was going on. But, on the other hand, I spent a lot of time by myself and found out what moves me and makes me shine. This is how I discovered my love of running and cycling and healthy eating (the way I like it) among numerous other things.

Besides being the middle child, there are many other times I have found myself in what appears to be stuck in the middle. Triathlons feel that way for me right now. I have been blessed in the short 2 and a half years I have been racing them, to rise quickly to the top of the age-group level. I excel there and love it that I can hit podium or win a very high percentage of the races I enter. So that leads to my frustration. I am qualified for a pro card, but I can't go pro (in my opinion) until I learn how to swim faster. In big races, that would put me as a mid pack pro and I am afraid I would be too frustrated.

Yesterday I raced the pro field at the Dino tri in Vernal. I had the choice of age group which I would have won first overall and won $1,000 which I could definitely use right now. Instead, giving in to Art and a few others accusing me of being a sand bagger, I raced in the Pro field. My swim was 10 minutes slower than the winner. My finishing time was 10 minutes slower than the winner. I have a good bike and a wicked run (even when as yesterday happened, I was sick and ended up throwing up half a dozen times during the race--ugh!). Yep still had a good run. Could have been faster without that, but at least I kept going. So the result, I ended up third and won $750. Frustrating! I swim and swim and feel as though I am getting no where. I need help! I have been through 5 coaches. This has mostly just left me confused.---Short side note: I am soooo happy to have won the prize money and I very thankful for Drew (the race promoter) and his family and friends for putting on such a great race and for making the trip to Vernal well worth it!
Only Picture I have so far of my tri this last weekend. Red Fleet State Park is where we swam.
So all this venting, what does it mean? I am sitting on the fence as I often have in my life. I'm looking to one side and then the other. Which side should I jump off to? Well, last week, taking out the swim, I won my off-road duathlon full out. Add in the swim? I feel as though unless I get the swim down, I either need to start racing straight trail runs (I do some, but I would miss the bike way too much), or perhaps I should start racing more mountain bike races. They sure are fun. Or find out if there is a good off-road duathlon series? Man there are so many choices! Lucky I'm pretty good at them all, yes? But, I can't figure out what I love the most! Or where I have the been opportunities? I don't like being too fast for amateur and not quite there for pro. I know I have the pro level inside me, but it just hasn't quite come out. I am either going to kill myself off learning how to swim better, or perhaps this is again life telling me I need a slight directional change to one of the above? I suppose until I get brave and make a jump, I'll keep sitting on the fence....

By the way, my roomie Ohran (who by the way is racing with Sager, Tinker, Bart, Sue, Mitchell and the gang in the BC 7 right now. Check out their progress!) came through again and hooked me up with his friends Troy and Nan in Vernal who own Altitude Cycles. They gave me a place to stay while I was in town. Two very cool very real people. I am so lucky to have people in my life who take such good care of me. Thanks guys so very much for treating me like family while I was there. I appreciate you so much!
This is actually a picture I just had to take at the BAM tri last week. It is my awesome cycling friend Jen Ward whom is transitioning into the tri world. I just loved the bikes, her cute dog with it's head reaching joyfully out the window, and two happy athletes sitting inside getting ready for a fantastic weekend!

Becoming the Sun

2008-06-23T13:33:00.000-06:00

Years ago, pre-head trauma, I lived on my bike. No car, couldn't deal with bus schedules, especially when I knew I could ride to my destination faster than a bus could get me there. I may have been a very poor college student, but I was the happiest girl in the world. Good friends got me into racing. I didn't have a bike worthy of a race. I was even given my first race bike by a friend who said the beautiful bike was "out of date", meaning a year old!?! I was so free, so lucky, so happy.

I had amazing friends (my brothers, I still call them) who made sure I got to races, had a floor to sleep on, something to eat (I almost never ate anything--I think my engine ran on pure love of riding), they learned quickly that they also had to make sure I showed up with shorts and a jersey, water, my, bike, helmet (the necessities of racing), as I always seemed to forget something important. They never asked for gas money or money for the space I used on their floor. Something tells me they'd been there once upon a time.

I had everything going for me. Yep. I was even fast. I learned to thrive on racing. I loved it and began dreaming of becoming one of those amazing pros everyone loves/hates depending on whether or not they lined up next to me. Sometimes though, live has a way of moving you to another direction. Kicking and screaming, it will drag you there if you fight it. That is what I did. Even after my accident. Sick, weak, even more broke, you name it, I thought I could still race. I was told more times than I want to think about to hang up my wheels and I would never be there again. I chose not to believe that. I knew some day I would be back. I just kept believing and never gave up my knowing that I would be back.

Giving birth to my son somehow also gave me a new birth back into my life of racing. It is different now than before. I race triathlons, I run, and this year I have even found myself back on the line with the road racing women. Slower than I once was, but I am there. I love it. I love putting my body to the test and finding out what it is capable of. I love watching those who are faster than myself on the day being inspired by them. I love encouraging those who are slower than me on the day and love how they inspire me. I am so thankful to be back.

My good friend Burke gave me such a reminder today of just how fortunate I am to have my health back. He told me of a dear friend of his whom has been through so many tough times. Sadly she can't do all of the things she loves. She has been through hardship after hardship and unfortunately her health did not come back. He told me that she always has a smile on her face and she finds and focuses on the positive things about life.

I almost cried when he told me this. I am so spoiled. I have people who love and care about me. I am racing well again. I have a beautiful son who keeps me grounded. I live a ten minute bike ride away from my favorite canyon. Lately I have been whining and complaining about mean cops who write unfair tickets, not having my own space to live, money issues, scary processed food, my teeth having problems and not being able to afford to fix it, cold weather, not enough time, missing a bike ride, and on and on, and on.

I am such a spoiled girl. I have lost appreciation for all the the little things and I let the "small stuff" bother me which in turn hurts others and myself. I am determined to get my innocent college mindset back. I am so lucky. I am so thankful. I love my friends, my family, my racing, my sunshine. I am going to try so much harder to be like Burke's friend. When the sun won't shine, I'm going to become the sun and shine anyway. Thank you so much Burke for helping me remember. I've missed being the sunshine. I know my family and friends have as well. She's back.

BAM Weekend!

2008-06-16T21:59:00.000-06:00

Seems as though my race season so far is full of extreme weather patterns. Last big race, I was in searing heat in CA. This weekend was just the opposite. On Saturday at 6:30 AM I jumped into a 50 degree lake for the swim portion of the BAM Olympic distance triathlon in Deer Creek Reservoir, UT. Upon exiting the chilly water, I found I was completely numb in my hands and feet. It was a battle to get my wetsuit off with no dexterity in my freezing fingers to work with. I finally wrestled out of my wetsuit and hopped on my bike for a 40K time trial. It was 38 degrees and plus I had a soak and wet body from the swim. It was difficult to eat or drink to be ready for the run and I had to shift with the heel of my hand. At T2, I was still freezing and my hands were still so numb that it took me three times as long in transition (I couldn't get my fingers to unbuckle my helmet or lift the straps of my bike shoes.) When I finally succeeded, I was bound and determined to have a good run. I did. At mile 4 of the 10k off-road hilly terrain, I could finally feel my feet and fingers. At this point I poured it on and finished with a 6th place in the women's elite field.

I suppose I must have had some frustration to burn off for Sunday's off-road duathlon. This was a 5k trail run, a 12 mile mountain bike, followed my another 5k trail run. Luckily in this race the temps were warmer and set off on a good pace. I found myself in the lead after only a mile into the first run. I rallied with one other male back and forth at the end of the bike leg, but left the 2nd transition zone for my final run leg back in the lead. I finished this race as first overall out of all the men and women! Over two minutes ahead of 2nd place who was a male! Sweet!

so about my week

2008-06-09T22:06:00.000-06:00

So I still seem to lacking the motivation, time, I dunno why I don't post much lately? But anyway, here are a few highlights about my week. Mostly it had to do with a fantastic Saturday of kicking my own ass.

So Friday between working I spent my time getting my bike ready. Thank you soooo much Matt for helping me get the poor thing dialed! As per my pre race usual, I was opening a young coconut, got distracted my my adorable little son, and instead of hitting the coconut with my machete (I like to call it my weapon!), I got my finger instead. So as soon as the blood came, I was super worried about Canyon seeing it and freaking out. Nope, the little stinker just said, "Cool Mommy, real blood!" Needless to say, I almost fainted. So two hours, a trip to the outpatient emergency clinic, and a tetanus shot later, I got to drink my coconut water.
Finger Bandaged and Ready to Race?So the next morning I got up at five, drove in the rain for two hours (should have been just over one, but as usual, I got lost--even with a map) and got to Wolf Mountain Ski resort which is just about Eden, UT. So the run, or should I say slippery scramble was tough. I worked really hard straight up and then straight down some very steep slopes. Today, I still have tender noodle legs to prove it! Luckily I was rewarded!
Me After Winning the Xterra Utah 10K Trail Run-First Woman Overall!So from there, I bounced around the venue for a few minutes apologized to John, race director for bailing before the awards ceremony and drove fast and mostly legally back to SLC for the Sugarhouse criterium race in the Women's Pro I, II, III field. I got there just in time to register, get by bike out, and realize I had no socks, my legs were plastered in mud still, and I forgot my short sleeve jersey. Luckily it was cool and I did have my long sleeve jersey. I went sans socks (I do it way too often and have the ugly feet to prove it!) and by the time I got that figured out, ended up racing in my tri shorts instead of bike shorts--who needs a nice thick chamois anyway?-apparently not me! Unfortunately, I shot my legs in the trail run and ended up not making the break when it happened. I had to leave that race just being glad I got there in time and had a fun time pretending like I was a roadie again for 45 minutes!

After my race, I watched a super fun Master's 35+ crit with Art, Matt, and Isaac (all teammates of mine have awesome races! It was great to finally see Art in a race this year. Hopefully the pattern continues!!! I don't have any pics of the actual race, but this one of Matt at home after he raced the Masters AS WELL AS the Pro I, II race is priceless.
Other priceless pics of the day:
Future bicycle hero. Right now he is my hero for putting up with a crazy mommy

My good friend and local superhero Burke Swindlehurst putting the hurt on the entire Men's Pro field. Next life I wish for an engine like his.

A happy Art and Lucy toward the end of an awesome day of racing fun!

Draper and Sundance ICUP Races

2008-06-01T07:57:00.000-06:00

So, I suppose my ADHD personality leans into into all areas of my life. Most call me crazy, others, the definition of ADHD ,with Ohran as the ADD poster child. The fact that we live in the same household at the moment? Hmmmm.....I think I feel right at home! But I could also think of it as I'm just super interested in many things and don't like to miss out on anything that sounds exciting. So, I try to do it all. Sometimes it is awesome and others, well, I pay for it.

So as of late, this is showing up big time in my athletic career. Although I still declare myself a tri-geek, even that has evolved. My love of road has transitioned into a lust for the off-road tri (Xterra) scene. But then, just straight trail runs are sure fun as I learned last year with the Xterra trail run series. And yet, my Monavie/Cannondale team and Art have brought me back full circle where my bicycle racing all began years ago into the mountain biking scene. I think what it ultimately comes down to is I love to be outside (hopefully in sunshine) enjoying nature, pushing my body to its max, and I suppose everything that goes along with it. Oh ya, and it hopefully involves a pair of running shoes and/or a sexy bicycle

So last week was mountain bike race week. I raced at the Draper ICUP expert level. I was still feeling not quite 100% from my Temecula HOT Xterra race. Even with dead legs, I was able to out climb most. But then on the downhill, my roadie skills showed up. Luckily this race has SO much climbing, that I still finished a strong 2nd!

Sundance on Saturday was a slightly different story. There is just not quite enough climbing as compared to down hill single track to allow me to make up the time. In this race, I finished 5th. I am determined to get my technical skills mastered--or just end my love/hate relationship with my brakes! When I do, who knows what that will evolve to next!

BTW, next week I will be foregoing the ICUP race in favor of an Xterra trail run and then my favorite roadie criterium at Sugarhouse Park! I am so excited! What I really wish was that the ICUP was on a different day so I could do all three. Ya, I'm a spoiled little thing!

Mountain of Gratitude

2008-05-24T05:04:00.000-06:00

This is the first weekend in a while I am not leaving nor am I already gone to some race or other wild adventure. Whenever my pace slows down, my high I love to ride on starts sliding, very fast. Contrary to most people's popular belief, yes, I can experience lows. I don't like them, but I'm human.

For those who know my 'stories', life for me has had some very tough moments. It is here that I start thinking about those times as well as maybe some of the parts of my life at the moment that perhaps aren't so great. As with most of us, I don't like these thoughts or feelings, but I do realize--hopefully sooner than later--that if it wasn't for these lows, my highs wouldn't be quite so amazingly euphoric. Especially for everyone who sees me bouncing around at races so excited I can hardly contain myself, it is me knowing how incredibly lucky I am to be there, let alone race pretty darn well. A few years ago, I faced the prospect of never putting on my racing shoes, or helmet, or anything. When faced with prospects, such as these, being stripped of your passion overnight, it hits home so very hard, what you had. I am certain there are many who can fill in the blank of things they've lost been forced to let go of when they least expected it or wanted to. These are the times when I truly realize what I had and now miss so very much. It is like a piece of my soul was missing.

Want to rebuild an even stronger soul? Find a way to climb back up the mountain. Aim for a higher peak, or maybe it will be a different mountain than you've ever scaled. As a dear friend once taught me, it is baby step that will get you to the top. One foot in front of the other. It might be the most difficult thing you ever do, a few (or many falls) might occur along the way, but wow is the view from this new peak amazing! You find that when you let go of those things, that sometimes they never come back, yet they may, perhaps in a new fulfilling way. I have always found that when I allow my cup to empty, it then has room to be filled with the most amazing things. Life becomes so precious and beautiful once again. How incredible.

One of the keys to pulling myself out of these moments is realizing that there are many things, people, etc. in my life right now that are good. I have just forgotten. I do receive help many times from others to help me see. The blinders can be so tight. Thank you to Steve, and Art, and Ramon and the list goes on and on and on of those who have helped me and still remind me in my heart that there are many wonderful, caring friends out there who love me and all of my quirks.

I am so thankful for warm, sunny days, rainbows (as I saw last night) after a spring rain, flowers, races (sometimes it takes until after they're over!!), solo rides and runs, riding with friends, good times, hard times, a happy place for me and my son to live, sunrise and sunset, nature, beauty, love, peace, health, prosperity in all ways, inspiring people. I could go on and on. In my heart I am!

I feel so light right now!!! I think I'll go for a run! Gratitude for even the little things. All those little things become my mountain. I'm standing on top and I love the view! Thank you!

Xterra West Championship

2008-05-19T14:20:00.000-06:00

This weekend was a mix of highs and lows. To start off, I got to the car rental place and they didn't have my car. I got upgraded to a hard-top convertible and was all stoked until I realized my Scalpel wouldn't fit in the trunk when the top was down. So the bike got to ride "California style" in the back seat. This got lots of laughs. The next best thing was when I got to the venue in at Vail Lake Resort in Temecula, I found my amazing teammate Jamie Whitmore all smiles and looking great with her sweet Monavie/Cannondale cane, race jersey and awesome attitude. She truly lives the Xterra spirit.
Jamie and I and then she and her husband Courtney at the expo day before race
Thank you so much to Steve and Darcie for opening your home to me and letting me set up base camp at your incredible home! Here I met them for the first time as well as super mom and athlete, Tiffany Larson and her son J.P. So many people inspire me in ways they may not even realize. Spending the weekend with them outside of my race was so cool.

Race day was a hot one, to put it lightly. In Temecula for this time of year, weather is typically in the 80's. Today it tipped a scorching 100 degrees. In a completely exposed, hilly race course, it proved to be the most brutal course I've ever encountered. Swim went as per my usual. I'm medium fast, but still need to knock off some minutes.
View of swim and transition area

On the bike, it was interesting. The course was perfectly suited for all of my strengths. Lots of hard medium long climbs, steep thrilling roller coasters, and twisty, but not too technical descents. I was loving my first of two laps. The heat hadn't quite reached its unbearable stage and I felt good and strong and knew I was going to win my slot to worlds. What I didn't plan on were a few wacky accidents. On one short uphill, a guy ahead of me didn't quite make it up. As I went to pass him, he swung his long leg and cleated shoe straight into my head. Needless to say, I was off the bike. Fortunately I was stunned for just a moment as my new Bell Sweep XC helmet did its job. I suppose it's a funny way for a helmet to save me? Well, I got back on my bike, went on again, and was doing great. But then on the final climb of the first lap, I got taken out by a girl riding next to me. She spun out straight into me and landed on top of me with her handle bar wedged into my thigh. This one wasn't so forgiving. I spent the rest of the race wishing I had some Motrin. One other problem on the bike. I ran out of water. Not good given the temps. I rode for almost 30 minutes without any. In this heat, it was the beginning of the end. I finished the bike without a problem, but going into a hot run, dehydrated, with some serious elevation gain was not good.
Some of the hills we raced bikes and ran in. Typically the run is my forte. I'm light and loose and almost always have one of the fastest run splits of the day. Today I struggled. In fact it was so hard that I quit the race twice as my heart rate soared above the 200 mark (my max is typically about 193!). Having already been through a traumatic brain injury and multiple pass out episodes from that, a black out was not an option. Both times on side of the trail, my heart sank. I had never voluntarily quit a race in my life. Each time, watching the others trudge on, I put my game face back on and started again. Needless to say, I finished the race with the slowest 10K trail run time including my 'stops' that I have ever had. After crossing the finish line, I did pass out for a moment and ended up in the medical tent, but I finished and I was in good hands instead of on the side of the trail. Again I ended up with laughs as I recovered. There were others in the tent next to me with cramping legs and begging the overwhelmed medical staff to rub their legs out. I being a massage therapist went to work on them. I instructed them in breathing exercises and rubbed their legs out until the cramping subsided all the while listening to my own words and breathing with them so I didn't pass out on top of them. One of the personnel commented that he never had a patient working on the other patients before. He also thanked me for teaching him how to work out the cramps. How cool is that!!

Even better than finishing, I learned that others must have suffered more than I. I won my category and secured a spot to worlds in Maui for October! In that moment, all of pain I was in melted. I am soooo lucky!
Category male and female podium missing one of the girls! Thank you so very much to my good friend/photographer Gene Murrieta. He caught me at both of my hardest moments. The first was on the hill with the girl crashing on me and the second was the first time I 'quit' the race. His words were so funny. "Gee Rachel, I catch you every time you look like Hell this race!" Smiles came out of that one!!! So anyone who needs to blackmail me, I suppose you could get a hold of those pics! Again, thank you Gene for your help and support. Also to Peter (another racer friend/doc) who helped me in the medical tent. Thanks also to the best team ever, Monavie/Cannondale for helping me get there and Team Unlimited for putting on another "soul builder" of a race that was run perfectly as always. And I, as always was soooo happy to be back 'home' with my growing Xterra family.

After the races!

2008-05-11T14:57:00.001-06:00

Me and Kahuna Dave just before race startWow! What a wild eight days!!! Quick recap. I left last Saturday AM with Canyon and my Scalpel and tri bike and gear for 3 entirely different types of races. Yeah. Pretty much almost every piece of gear I own ended up in the car! I raced the mountain bike expert level women's race at five mile pass in Lehi and placed 4th. After the finish Canyon and I headed to Sunny St. George and spent the night at Pop-Pop and Grandmas. Sunday morning I went for a run, said good-bye to a very happy kid (who wouldn't want to hang out with the grand parents for an entire week!?!) and headed to Sunset Station in Henderson, NV.

Last blog posted pics from day one. Tuesday through Friday were filled with more driving than I would normally do in two months. The good part is it was through some of the most beautiful desert terrain I've seen in a very long time. There was extra rain this winter and we hit it perfectly. Thousands of flowers in bloom greeted us anywhere we set our eyes. This picture doesn't do it justice. My dinosaur digital camera (yes I spend all of my money on racing and my son, not updating electronics) unfortunately didn't catch the blooms). Ironically, I loved the off-road driving. I drove stuff (loved it) that I never would have dared even be a passenger, let alone drive one week ago. I loved the trials course, sand dune rallying, and amazing scenery in general I experienced. One disappointing thing, luck of the draw, is my teammate doesn't exactly have the competitor and adventurous spirit it takes to do this sort of thing. The running and biking events (typically my forte's) were done at a snails pace with lots of complaints about me going way to fast despite going so slow, I was about to go crazy. I did my best however to put my happy face on as I knew everyone at the event knows what I am capable of and there is lot more to it than just going fast (my little heart was definitely hurt a few times though watching everyone I am typically competitive with fly by and out of sight).

The other hard thing was we would make a plan and then in the moment, my teammate wouldn't do what the plan was. I wish I was a mind reader, but I'm not, and those events always turned into me getting yelled at by him for 'messing it up!?!?!' The other thing that didn't help was him telling me everyday he didn't really want to be there. I was frustrated as I had worked hard to get there, was going for a week without pay, left my son, etc. and was really excited to give it everything as I always do. For me, this was a week of patience and letting go and focusing on the things that were positive. Trust me, there were many.
First Campsite in desert how cool is several dozen Land Rovers, 50 Mountain Hardware tents, Men Weilding Fire (amazing chefs who also do the food at Xterra Nationals--these guys remembered me because they let me sit in their mobile kitchen for an hour before snowy Nationals last year to warm up--purple lips before a race=not good sign--they saved me!!!), beautiful desert background. Perfect!!!
This was our second campsite. Cathedral State Park outside of a tiny town, Caliente. We had some funny times here and thank goodness there was running water at this one. We had a major thunder and then rain storm at the moment we showed up. Our running race was at this time. After the race, we were plastered in mud (clay) and chilled to the bone and sooo thankful for running water for hot showers---yes were were spoiled in every way! The next night we camped here as well. While we were out on our day's adventures, a desert tornado raged through (we called them dust devils growing up) and ripped our tents out of the ground and sent them rolling through the desert. The poor rangers at the park spent the afternoon chasing all of them down and putting them back as best as they could. When we returned, it was like finding a needle in a hay stack to figure out who's was who's! I laughed so much this trip!!

Despite my team situation, I will still name this one of the very best weeks I have ever had!!! I met so many incredible people, got to know the other amazing athletes well (they are some of the coolest people ever!!!!). The Land Rover driving instructors were sooooo awesome, of course Team Unlimited was fantastic as always (which is why I do so many of their events--I just can't get enough of them!!!!) The film crews, journalists, photographers, etc, etc, etc, were hands down the coolest people in their industries.

So even though I ended in a an eighth place position when it was all said and done (disappointing for me), I am the luckiest girl in the world to have spent a week as I did. I hope I get invited back next year.
So my next funny thing was, I left the party Friday night about 11:30, drove 2 hours to St. George, did a load of wash and got my road triathlon stuff ready, went to bed at 2:30 AM, set my alarm for 4:30, alarm went off for an hour, woke up at 5:30 when I was supposed to be at the St. George tri, freaked out for about 30 seconds, got into GO mode and was out of my house in less than five minutes and on my way to the race!!! I picked up my race packet, set up my transition site, wiggled into my wetsuit and jumped into a very rough lake in time for go (uh, who needs warm-ups!?!?) Wow!

I went on to swim the toughest swim leg I have ever done. The winds were howling and it made the swells churn (over 4 feet) us as though we were in the washing machine. The average swim time was about 10 minutes slower than would have been normal (the sprint distance had their swim canceled and only did a bike and run). I came out of the water dizzy and slightly sea sick. Regardless, as per my usual, I spent the remainder of the race playing catch up. By the end of the bike I had battled wicked winds into a 10th place overall position and then in the run (I love this desert trail run--mostly because everyone else hates it because it is very tough and windy, and in lots of deep sand--I happen to run in this stuff very well!!!!) I made up even more time. Despite having the fastest female run split and one of the fastest bikes, I still fell a little bit short and settled for a 4th place overall female finish (out of about 100!) in the Olympic distance on less than 10 hours of sleep in almost a week!!

It wasn't over yet as I still had to get back to Vegas for my closing T.V. interview. Canyon wanted to stay work with Pop-Pop and so I showered, unloaded my tri gear at my parent's house and drove back to Vegas. Again. I didn't dare eat as my stomach was still churning, but I didn't really have time anyway. I got back in plenty of time for my interview, chilled at the pool with some of the athletes for a while and crashed out hard (almost 12 hours at the hotel!). This morning I woke up and drove back to St. George for a little mommy and Canyon time before we head back to the good ol' 801!!!

So a crazy week? Perhaps, but I loved it inside and out!!! I am so high right now. Adventure and racing and adversary help me grow. These are the times I find out what I'm made of. The outdoors and sunny days fill my soul. The people I spent my week with were so positive (with very few exceptions). We fed on each other's energy so much that every person left with distinct glow. How can I be so lucky? Can't wait for more!

Land Rover G4 Nevada Passage Challenge!

2008-05-05T21:43:00.000-06:00

Wow! I am the luckiest girl on the face of the planet! Check it out here. Today before the big competition actually started, we spent the whole time learning how to use these off-road beauties the right way. I never thought I could learns so much about navigation, off-road driving, how to work a winch system, etc., etc. all in one day!!! I am so excited! This week is the best ever!!!

Team's Rovers before we start

me and 6 of my female friendly competitors

My rig (home) for the next four days and my teammate Scott

The most amazing lunch athletes could ever hope to be served!

Driving Course before we hit the 'real' trails

Yes I really am the luckiest girl in the world!!!

Back Track

2008-05-03T21:13:00.000-06:00

So there were a few weeks I didn't post anything. It seems each day I wake up, be a mom, work some, train, make food for anyone who will eat it (yes I LOVE to make prepare food for others!), go to bed, repeat. That is when I am home. For the past while (few years?) every trip I have been on has been to go to a race or work related venture. Although I really love that. I was reminded this month how nice it can be to go on a trip and not have to get up at a certain time, have an a agenda, completely kill myself off racing....etc. etc.

I was lucky enough (yes, I am a very lucky girl) to be invited to meet Art's family on a vacation. We flew to Ft. Lauderdale and hung out with some of his family there for a day and then went on a cruise. Now I am not a person who could have ever imagined myself a cruise girl. Hmmm....me on a boat for a whole week without a bike? Ironically, I think it was very good for me. We got to visit St. Martin and St. Thomas and a private island owned by the cruise company. This was amazing to me as I fell in love with the Caribbean last spring when I raced the St. Croix 70.3 Ironman. I had been very sad this year that I am not racing it (it is tomorrow). So I got to see the Caribbean in an entirely new way!

Good things were 1) as anyone who knows me there are 2 things that make me very happy. one is being outside in hot sunshine and two is getting a good workout in. Everyday I got lots of this. Yes sometimes it did entail running around the Cruise ship 50 times and trying not to fall over sideways when the boat rocked while in a standing yoga pose, but I also got to run on the islands, swim in amazing bays, and create some very interesting body strength workouts that made people watching question my sanity (people watching--very interesting. I typically have no clue people are watching me until they come up later and start commenting. Very good reason to always try at least to be doing, or saying positive things--though I won't say I won't embarrass myself as that apparently one thing I do best!). 2) Very good company. Art's family is great. His mom and aunt and sister-in-law are all total sweethearts. My leaving Canyon with his dad for a week was interesting as I was adopted by Devin, the only grandchild who is also 3 (he decided that I was his girlfriend! SO FUNNY! If only all boyfriends in this world paid as much attention to their girlfriend as Devin did to me, what a different world it would be! It made me really miss Canyon and wish he could have come. The brothers were great too. Both are tall, but not quite the 6 in a half feet Art tips.

I came back happy, tan, and probably one of the only people in this world to actually lean out on a cruise! Yep, can finally see my ribs a bit again! I've just been working like crazy ever since trying to catch up and get ready for the next adventure which I've started!

Yes! I am writing from my parent's home in beautiful St. George, UT. I took Canyon and raced the Five Mile Pass Mtn bike race in the Expert category. Canyon got to play with Bart's cute little girl Eva so I could ride. Thank you sooo much Janie for watching him!!! I think there should be a team race report up soon on the Monavie/Cannondale site. Anyway, I ended up 4th. Typically I would be stoked, and I was, but if I would have raced hard until the end, I would have been 3rd. Instead, hard lesson learned, I let up thinking it was safe and I got passed right at the end without quite enough time to counter. Ouch!!! I will never ever do that again! I had a great time at the the race and I can't wait until tomorrow when I head to Nevada to see what the Land Rover G4 Nevada Passage Challenge has created for me to race! I am soooo excited!

Gearing Up

2008-05-01T19:20:00.000-06:00

So my dear friend Kyle brought up to me a couple of weeks ago as I spoke with him from the airport in Ft. Lauderdale, that for being a single mother with no money, I sure seem to get to a lot of places. Yes I do. It is funny how when you set your mind to something, that the universe does provide a way. So here I am, home for a couple of weeks and packing to leave. Again. This time the distance is closer, but a whole new adventure none the less! I will leave early Saturday AM and stop west of Lehi and race Five Mile Pass, expert level and then head with Canyon to my parents in St. George. A day of hellos and a quick goodbye, and I am off again to Henderson, NV. Canyon will stay with Pop-Pop and Iggy (little brother's iguana Canyon thinks is a dinosaur :) ---he is so funny!) and my mom while I go to race in the Land Rover G4 Nevada Passage Challenge.
This will be my first shot at at adventure racing!!! It is a slightly different (okay, very different format) than a typical adventure race, but I am soooooo excited and nervous and scared to death to go and do it!!!! It will have 10 teams of 1 male and 1 female whom they paired up--I have yet to meet my partner. It is from May 5-9 with television interviews the day before and the day after it ends. We are being issued Land Rovers and most of our other gear, clothing, etc. I'm hoping that if I say pretty please and smile real big they let me keep mine? That would be cool, but probably not!
So, yet again, this little mommy does get around. How lucky am I? VERY!!!!

Tough

2008-04-29T20:35:00.000-06:00

So again I've been the slacker on posting updates. It seems that when I either get really busy or am having a difficult time, the posts don't come. Well it's going on again. I'm trying to hang tough though. Right now all I can say is I thought I'd been through some hard times in my life until I tried mixing being a single mom of the cutest boy in the world with training, racing, and working as much as I can to earn enough to keep a roof over our heads and somehow make it to my events. It's just making me stronger. Right? Thanks so much everyone who supports me. I love you all!

Sacramento Pics

2008-04-08T19:42:00.000-06:00

So I've been pretty slow at this blogging stuff lately. I kind of go in spurts. When it is sunny, I have energy. When the weather sucks, I want to crawl into a hole! I have decided that I am never spending a January/February in SLC again!! So, anyone who wants to offer me a job or a great training place during those months, let me know!!! Has to be warm though! None of the pics I have are of me actually racing. Guess that happens sometimes. Here are a few of my weekend.
Great view point on our way to Folsom

Lance and I at a restaurant not arguing-a rarity!

Lost in hills above Folsom. Almost to point of dialing 911!

6th overall woman 3rd in category!

Me and Emma Gerrard--If I ever beat her, then I know I am ready to turn pro!

REAL Xterra Tri

2008-04-01T20:24:00.000-06:00

Cool. So I'll give the results first and then give the details. 6th woman overall, 3rd in age group. So that is the short version just in case you don't want to read my book.
I did this triathlon for the first time last year. I wanted to do it again as a season opener and also because I just plain like it and I think the race promoters put on a fantastic race! Now that they put my picture on their home page, I LOVE them even more!!!
I flew into Reno on Thursday afternoon and my friend Lance picked me up and I stayed at his cute house in Minden that night. On Friday morning I decided that I needed to go for a little run before the 2 hour drive to Sacramento. As per my usual, I proved I have absolutely no concept of navigation what-so-ever! I meant to go on a 25-30 minute out and back. I decided at the 20 minute mark that just turning around would be sooooo boring. So instead, I was going to make a loop. Now, in my perfect world, all streets would go through and not dead end or in this case twist and turn and go on and on with no outlet for way too many extra miles. By the time I decided that this was a bad idea, I also decided that turning around would be even worse, so kept going. I finally ended up out on the highway on the far side of Gardnerville which is the town past Minden. Oh sweet. I was also already at the 50 minute mark. Oops. Hmmm.... Luckily I knew in this case that if I ran straight back through the main street of the towns, I couldn't possibly get lost again. This was true. But, by the time I got back, I also had run over 10 miles instead of the 3-4 max I set out to do. So if you ever wanted to know why I am a decent runner, this is why. When you get lost or distracted or both (much worse) almost every run or bike ride you go on, you will either get faster or give up. I got faster!!!

So once I finally got back to Lances and showered, I thought we were ready to go. Wrong! I went to put my bike together and realized that I had no saddle or seat post. My friend Adam teased that I should just ride the whole race standing up. Now Adam, that was tempting as on one hand it would make a much lighter bike, on the other hand, I would either have very tired legs the next day, or forget during the race that I had no saddle and rub my little ass raw on my back wheel. That visual made me determined to find a saddle and seat post. So Lance went out chasing a seat post. The saddle solution was easy. This is why sometimes it is good that I forget to take home half of what I bring with me every time I go somewhere. I had left another one of my saddles at Lance's place last year and forget it was there. How convenient! After an hour, Lance found a seat post and brought it to me. Then I remembered he had another bike with the perfect diameter and length of post. It's amazing how I came with no post and ended up within an hour 2 seat posts and a saddle that I knew I liked. Well, thanks to me, we finally got on the road towards Sacramento right on time, three hours late!

This triathlon is held just outside of Sacramento near Folsom (think famous Johnny Cash song--as Art reminded me). Anyway, the area is soooo beautiful. This year was different from last year as We arrived two days before the race to cool temps and lots of rain. Sometimes I wouldn't have minded so much except for two things. Lance wanted to camp and I didn't, and I am an entire winter's worth past ready for warm air and sunshine. So this started me out a little more down in spirit than I can be when I am out traveling to races. I am usually soooo excited to be somewhere living an adventure away from the normal (although my life is hardly normal----thank God!) day to day things I typically entertain myself with. I think I just plain old brought my bad attitude and didn't want to camp. I did the first night, slept not well at all, and woke up with a sore hip and tired eyes, and more RAIN. Well here is where I am reminded AGAIN that I am the luckiest girl in the world. I talked to Art and he told me that I can't camp in the rain that night too because it would mess up my race. Uh, duh! That made me frustrated as Lance was bound and determined to camp (like a tough Marine--I reminded him that I was not a Marine. I am a girl who only camps when I want to and there is a reason I didn't join the Marines---I like to do what I want to do when I want to do it, and I didn't want to camp). Luckily though, Art had a solution. His friend Bob lives right in Folsom and invited us to stay at his place that night. BTW. I LOVE YOU BOB, YOU ARE THE BEST IN THE WORLD. THANK YOU!!!! So here is the funny thing. I went and told Lance I was going to stay at Bob's that night and he could stay and camp in the rain if he wanted to. Well, I think Lance was more excited to have a bed to sleep in than me. What happened to tough Marine mentality, I don't know. What I do know. Men confuse the heck out of me (and they say women are hard to deal with?!?---I beg to differ!).

My initial plan was to pre-ride the course that day. Leaving out all of the details, what ended up happening was Lance left to ride the course (Danny you might understand) and I didn't want to do a 35 mile + ride to get to the course, ride it, and then ride back. So instead, I decided I would do an hour road ride out and back to shake out my legs. To make a long story short, I got distracted, and lost, and only after climbing almost 2000 vertical (wore my new Suunto watch!)--- yep they've got some good hills!---and even finding some really sweet and muddy off-road sections, did I accidentally make it back to Bob's house. This time I only rode for 90 minutes which was actually perfect. It was funny, because I was deciding whether I should call 911 or find a friend who could map quest me and figure out where in the world I was, when I realized I was back riding on the street Bob lives off of. Now that was lucky!

So that night was awesome. I slept in a nice warm house, in a soft bed, and woke up the next morning to sunshine and a ready to race attitude!! Good thing, because the race was so much fun!! At the swim start, the water was soooooo cold! 53 degrees. I had no idea it could be so cold. That is the temp Lake Tahoe is at nationals in the fall. I was glad for only doing a 750 meter swim. The bike was fun and really not too technical. I think I need to just shut up and ride. But when I get ultra happy and am nervous, the jokes just start pouring out. I definitely need to work on focusing on what I'm doing a little bit more and remember I'm supposed to be racing. When I got to the run, of course it was great. I do feel as though I could have pushed more, but held back because I just don' t feel quite trained enough yet. After the race, I did my usual running around way too energized and excited, bouncing around talking everybody's ears off. Yeah, if I can do that, I should be able to race harder. But the good news is, I did kick Lance's ass. The reason for this is he implied that he would kick mine (he forgets he hasn't beat me for a long time). So of course I had to prove that wrong!

So overall my feeling remains, if I could only go where I go on the bike and swim as I do with the run, I would be absolutely unstoppable. It will come someday very soon. I can feel it. In hind sight, I wish all the way around, I would have pushed harder. I know I am capable of much more. So back in SLC, I am so hungry for my next race. I wish I was racing today.

I'll post some pics soon. I'm tired right now.

Sunny Days

2008-03-24T13:19:00.001-06:00

First. I must apologize for my apparent lack of computer skills. I can't figure out how to post my last pics in a different format. For anyone who would like see them, I suppose you'll need to shoot me an email and I will send them to you. SORRY!

But now for the good news! Salt Lake has finally been so very beautiful weather wise. Sunny days, warming (still a bit chilly) temps, and my ETFE grin is back full on! I am so excited! I am healthy, getting very fast and having a blast riding my bike and running as much as I can.

Easter for me was spent better than any way I could imagine it. In the morning I went on the funnest mountain bike ride I can remember in a looooong time with two of my best friends in the whole world. Art and Dave. They were two of my main friends initially responsible to teaching me to race almost 10 years ago now. To this day, I love and appreciate them both more than they will ever know. When we go on rides, I forget about everything else and it is as though no time has lapsed. We are 3 kids on our bikes having the most fun ever! I love it!!!

After that I got Canyon from his dad and my dog Kira and went to Art's rental house and worked on the yard and prepping walls for paint, etc. Kira and Lucy entertained each other and stayed out from under our feet. Very nice. Once we were all completely dirty and starving, I took Canyon back to Matt's and made dinner for Matt and the girls and of course Art and Canyon. What a wild dinner. I don't know what I put in the food, but we all laughed hysterically the whole way through. One of those times that everything is funny even if it really wasn't.

By nine I was completely worn out. Canyon had already asked to go to bed (dream child?). Definitely an awesome day!

Good Worlds and Nationals Pics

2008-03-16T23:45:00.000-06:00

Wahoo!!!! Gene Murrieta is sooooo awesome. He just sent me these pictures from Xterra Winter Worlds and Snow Shoe Nationals. It is funny because I have seen a few others taken of me and lets just say, I hope none of you see them. Yes I do look not so good! In those, I think I am making it look like it was, hard! Anyway. Thank you so much Gene for sending these my way. You caught me making it look easy even though it was anything but that!---But of course, I had a blast, as usual!

Where I want to be!!

2008-03-14T07:57:00.000-06:00

This is a picture from my other site taken by my dear friend Tom Kualii when I was on Big Island last year. I spent 5 weeks there and I'm still home sick for this home that was never really my home. I just wish sometimes it was. This winter here in the 801 has been too cold for me except when I was racing...then I forget about the cold--racing always makes me happy. Yep, I'm lamenting because our beautiful spring tease from last weekend is now a cold slushy sleet. I need summer!!!!

Wow! I am wrecked--In a good way

2008-03-10T06:53:00.000-06:00

This weekend was amazing. Xterra as I said before is awesome! For their inaugural Winter World Championship race, they definitely delivered! The weather was snowy and overcast on the day, yet I was so focused on survival I hardly noticed! Xterra style, it was hard, perfectly run, and the best place anyone could possibly be on a early spring day in March.
I was in contention for the Fire and Ice award for amateurs which is the fastest overall combined time from off-road tri Worlds in Maui and this winter Worlds race. Unfortunately for me, that slipped from my grasp in the first moments of the race. The snow bike I thought I had dialed since I've been doing that all winter. What I didn't plan on was my rear tire losing it's seal (I run tubeless). From the first 50 meters of the race, I had a flat. Unfortunately for me, I found out the hard way that when you combine cold and wet with a tubeless set-up, you are out of luck. I wasted a lot of time trying to create a new seal and had no luck. I also had no tube. My only options were to quit the race or start running. Rachel does not quit (except for when I passed out 200 meters before the finish line at a race a few years back--when I came to and I realized what happened, I cried for 2 hours) so I grabbed my bike and started running the six mile bike leg through the slippery snow. Finally about 2/3 of the way through the course and now almost half and hour behind, a guy (#25--By the way THANK YOU if you see this) tossed my his tool kit with a tube in it. I was already pretty worked at this point and soooo frustrated. I pulled my wheel off, put the tube in, and got everything working so finally I could ride. I pedaled like mad for the remainder of the bike leg--except for where the snow was too soft and deep---then I ran some more.

The snowshoe leg went smoothly even though I was already feeling tired from running almost 5 of the six miles of the bike leg. The regular run went great. By the way Kahtoola spikes are the way to go if you run in the snow or ice. My slightly slower times on these legs showed the fatigue I was already feeling. After the bike leg, I didn't get passed by a single person the remainder of the race, but I did steadily reel people in one by one on the run and the skin up on skis. By the time I got to the final leg, I was completely worked. My body screamed stop! My mind said keep going. I was frustrated because I was so far behind, yet I knew that mechanicals and lots of other things can happen on race day and it is part of it. Builds the soul right?

My friend Danny (flew in from Hawaii to watch me and hang out---Thank you very much for the support!) said I pretty much looked like "death warmed over" by the time I got to the last leg and for me, by far the toughest part of the race. We had to skin up 1200 feet at which point we removed the skins, skied down to another point, skinned up to another point, back and forth until we did a final descent back to the finish. We skinned up over 2200 feet. Ugh! Luckily for me, have have a great set of lungs and really didn't have a problem with that part. The downhill is what was scary. A. I had ultra fatigue from essentially running over 12 miles already in the snow, B. The hike up with the skins finished off my legs. C. I hadn't telemarked or downhill skied in any way shape or form since before I had Canyon. Ya. I laughed and screamed for most of the descents. I only crashed once, did the ugliest turns anyone has ever set eyes on (at this point even if I remembered how to do a tele turn, my legs were too hammered to even attempt)--So I snow plowed, paralleled, and did everything I could to get down the mountain in one piece. I guess that the camera guy thought it was pretty funny, he skied down behind me the entire way filming the show (Perhaps if anyone has need to black mail me down the road, you can bribe him for this footage!). Me screaming in terror and he laughing. I'm sure it must have been quite the scene.

So the end result? Well the Fire and Ice award will have to wait until next year. You are however reading the post from the current Xterra Winter World champion for my 20-29 year old age group. So despite being almost an hour behind in the end of what I know I was capable of, I guess I faired better that I could have. I did finish the hardest race I have ever done in my life all in one piece! Now my snowshoe race the next day was when I lost my soles (not soul).

Saturday night after my race, I had my typical problem of still racing even though I was lying down. My thoughts won't stop, my muscles are going crazy, and my heart is still beating so fast when this happens (that is how I know I completely finished myself off). Needless to say, I slept exactly zero that night. Not a good set-up for my USSSA National snowshoe race. I had thoughts of backing out of this one, but I just couldn't bear the frustration of the 'what ifs' if I did not try. I don't ever like to wonder. I go out and and find ways to do everything I dream of whenever I can. When someday I look back, I will be and am already a person with no regrets about the way I lived my life. Just smiles of heart breaking moments mixed with the sweetest of successes. I know deep down that even my challenges always eventually turn into sweet memories and reminders of hard lessons learned. My journey is beautiful and fun and rewarding and always will be.

So back to the snowshoe race. My main goal for this one I knew would just be surviving. I was one of the only females who was doing both the Worlds race the day before and then this one (Most people think I must really just like to suffer. I look at it as I like to find out what I'm made of!). I knew going into it that 'most everyone else was fresh. I knew that if I wasn't already worked over from the day before, I would be up there as a main contender for the first place spot. I also knew that on this day, I wouldn't be there; I was so tired. There will be other years as I plan on racing forever and ever. Bottom line, for this race, I knew I just needed to finish and be thankful I could do that. So the race started and off we ran. I started out slower than I normally would, but had to as my legs were already completely toasted. Typically this course would have been greatly in my favor as it was full of hills and very technical single track sections. Today I learned how other people must feel when they come upon another damn hill. Ouch! I ended up walking some of these which is something I've never had to do before. By the end of the first loop, I was worked and I could feel blisters forming in both of my arches. I think this is from my feet being in wet socks all day the day before. I have never in my entire life had problems with blisters as my feet are always covered in callouses from growing up dancing and running bare foot through the desert. Well needless today, despite the fact that Rachel doesn't quit, I got back to where we were to take our second loop. I stopped looked at Art with begging eyes and told him I was done. He looked at me and said to go and finish it. So I went. The second loop of the snowshoe was the same loop I'd done the day before for Worlds. It has mostly single track and lots of ups and downs. It is a great course. The problem was I was hurting so much and the blisters were getting worse.

About half a mile into this section, I felt the skin on the bottoms of my feet rip and the warm blood start to flow. From this point on, I forgot about how tired I was (amazing how I can forget when I experience a new pain that is worse to me than fatigue) and focused on forcing myself with each step to take another. It was so excruciatingly painful. Every uphill hurt, every downhill hurt. There was no relief. I just had to keep telling myself that the pain would stop when I crossed the finish line. I finally did in 11th place. For that much pain and how tired I was, I have never been more proud of an 11th place finish. I don't care that I didn't qualify for the national team. I made 5 other women's dream come true in that way by my choices.

I am happy and also know I am one of the luckiest people in this world that I had the opportunity to compete in the first ever Xterra Winter Worlds Championship as well as snow shoe Nationals.

After the race I immediately sat down and removed my shoes to see the damage to my feet. At this point they had stopped bleeding for a bit. I have a circle of skin missing from each arch exposing some very raw skin as the layer gone is deep. This was funny as about 6 photographers, Art included came to take pictures. An Xterra lady came over and bandaged them and I hung out at the race chatting and laughing for the next 2 hours in bare feet on the snow. I was not about to put those bloody shoes on again. I finally made my way still bare foot down to my car which on this day was parked in almost the last row of the Snow Basin resort. I found some shoes that I could slip on and went back up to the finish line one last time. Unfortunately I had to leave before the awards ceremony and I also missed that party that night, but being a single mom, I had to get back to Salt Lake to take on that role again.

It is now Monday morning. I slept like a baby last night. I am still extremely tired, I feel every muscle so sore in my body, and I can hardly walk as my feet are missing so much skin. But I am happy. Racing makes me feel so alive. I go through many extreme emotions, especially at events at tough as this. Yeah, if you want to build a soul, race Xterra, if not Xterra, race something! Guaranteed, you'll learn that you are capable of a lot more that you ever dreamed.

If anyone gets Deseret News in SLC, there was a big article about me and the Xterra event on Saturday, pre-race. Also Trey from Xterra, told me yesterday that they made me into the poster girl for the Utah regional trail run series. Keep a look out for those. I am so excited!!! One day when I get really good, perhaps I'll be the poster girl for lots of things. I'd love that!

Thank you so much Xterra and Team Unlimited and Snow Basin for such an awesome weekend. Also USSSA for bringing Nationals to the same venue. Thank you Jamie Markosian for letting me stay at your condo. Thanks Danny and Scott and Canyon for your help. Thanks Lance for dragging me by my ear to my very first (and the only Xterra I was ever going to do) 2 Augusts ago--Now I'm going to compete in Xterra events forever! Thank you Monavie/Cannondale for taking a chance on me. Thank you Art especially too for putting up with all my behind the scenes drama and crap and for believing in me and helping me believe....

Hopefully I'll have some pictures soon from some good friends who were there taking shots.

Can't wait until next year! In the meantime, I can't wait for my next race---as soon as my feet heal.

Xterra Winter Worlds!!!

2008-03-06T15:48:00.000-07:00

So here's the latest. I decided that being slightly out of shape and not quite so lean as is my preference, I am racing this weekend. Of course Rachel style. So yeah. This equals Saturday's race which consists of a snow bike leg (totally excited--again, thanks Art for dragging me out all winter) on my awesome Cannondale Carbon Rush, next up is a snow shoe leg of course using my Crescent Moon Snow shoes. The run I'll sport my Kahtoola spikes and for the ski, my almost brand new, yet 'old' Tua's. I have one slight problem. Last time I telemarked was the season before I had my son. Yikes! That is uh, four years ago. Oh well, adds to the adventure, right? This leg will really be worth watching if you want some extreme entertainment.
Anyway, I am so excited to race another Xterra event. One of these days when I am either a fully sponsored pro or make my millions--I'm planning on both, I'll race them all! Team Unlimited puts on the best races ever, hands down!!! S0 here comes Rachel's next crazy idea. I qualified for USSSA snowshoe national championships which are being held also in Snow Basin the next morning. So, as long as my legs still work, I'm racing that too. Yep, anyone who wants to come check out the venue, I hope to see you there. Better yet, I hope you come race too!
My bottom line? After this weekend, you'd better watch out, 'cause when I get going, I don't stop. I'd say race season is here!

Smiles

2008-02-24T21:08:00.000-07:00

Oh man! I got a couple of the best rides in this weekend!!! I am so happy about that. Makes me wish I was young and free again and could do it day after day, after day. But that got me into trouble too. Over -trained and burned out comes to mind! I am sometimes so dumb-founded as to what my body is capable of. It has been so long since I've ridden consistently. But yet, my body still finds within it the ability to perform when called on. That is even at the moment being 10ish pounds over race weight and nursing a hamstring injury and being out of commission for a time from my ice fall.
I rode for 6 hours yesterday in the cold and rain to Zions from my parent's home in Bloomington. That is over 110 miles. I haven't ridden that far in quite some time. The time is a little slower than I was used to doing when I would ride centuries with my friend Dave Wood and Co., but wow! I finished feeling as though I could have ridden at least another hour or so. I didn't have anyone to ride with, so I just started riding and ended up riding with a few nice guys from Ogden One race team. They were nice.
Today was just as good. I rode my mountain bike from my parent's over to Green Valley and rode the race course plus parts of some other trails over there (I get lost on that course every time I ride it by myself). I did have one pretty good crash in the second wash (instant humiliation), but other than that I was really strong and pushed hard the whole way. Then was time for some real fun. I rode up to the GV loop (don't think that's its real name, but that is what I grew up calling it) and rode like a kid on a bike--oh so happy and in the moment, all the way to Bloomington through my beautiful desert I called home for so long. It was amazing. I didn't see a soul the entire time (almost 3 hours) I was out. It was overcast, but still at least 50 degrees, but so perfect. I do think the weather scared a lot of people away. Lucky me. Yeah, I finally felt like I was home. I wished I could just keep riding forever.I got a few pictures today. Yesterday I forgot my camera. So here you go.
Views from upper parts of trails

Looking back on some sections of GV loop I just rode. Been riding it since I was a kid. I am usually scared of this kind of stuff!

Sadly, this literally used to by my back yard. Now it is full of urban sprawl and track houses. Heart breaking!

St. George Runaway

2008-02-22T20:48:00.000-07:00

So moving was hard. Here is the insane thing about it. I had less to move than I've had to move in a long time. I got rid of some stuff, left some, and had not a single piece of furniture to lift, haul or otherwise even think about (Scott is keeping everything--I'm tired of asking, begging, or fighting for anything period). Canyon was in school so there wasn't even a child under my feet or jumping on boxes right as I was about to lift them. That was very nice. So why did it take me so long and why was it just so darn HARD if not nearly impossible for me to move my stuff back down the canyon? I don't have a clue.

I do have some ideas. I am tired. Last year I must say even beat out the first two years post head injury. It was tough. Glad it's over. Glad I learned I could HTFU and get through everything and still race fairly well (racing saved me) regardless. Problem is once it was all over, and I had time to finally think about it all, I freaked out. I'm still freaking out, but promise I'll be finished soon. Another thought. I moved to SLC in August of '98 for college. I just counted, I ironically have moved 28-I'm 28 (was I just catching up?) times since then (feels like more). I am plain sick of moving. I used to like it as it gave me a chance to organize and get rid of items I didn't need. I hate keeping anything I don't use or won't use soon. I don't like moving anymore (this time moving, I had fantasies of my condo burning down so I wouldn't have to think about it-yes, I'm a little insane at the moment). Now that I have a child who is the most resilient, amazing little boy in the world, I would love to create a positive, stable, happy situation for him. I want to give him the world. I want him to do and have everything he ever wants in life and for him to know he deserves it. I'm determined to figure out a way to provide that for him. Another reason. I moved to another place I know is temporary. I don't know what's next. SLC, St. George, Thailand, I am open to anywhere as long as it ends up being a great situation. I just wish I could figure that out! At least I am counting Antarctica and other insanely cold places out for sure. I think I mostly am having a difficult time trusting my own instinct because many of the decisions that I have made or I have let other makes for me over the past few years have ended in catastrophe and much pain. I'm done with that for a while. I want some happy endings to come very soon. Anyone else want to throw out why I would stand looking at a box for over an hour and have to do everything I could to muster up the motivation to put something in it? Taking out to my vehicle was a similar battle. This is when I knew for sure that for this little Sagge, not leaving town for over 2 months had gotten to me X's about 1,000! So my apologies Matt, but I left all of mine and Canyon's stuff on our bedroom floor (haven't figured out a furniture situation yet), gathered two of my bikes and Canyon's wheels as well. Drove like two fugitives racing from Hell--not to worry, I just received my 2nd ticket ever for running a red light. So it was more like we drove like two crazies with certain restrictions as I'm not about to get another.

Where did we bail to? Yep, St. George to check out the family life for the first time since September. I'll say one thing tonight about St. George. I was so lucky to grow up in such a beautiful place. Each time I go there it get soooo excited to be back to my red rock homeland--especially when SLC is socked in a cold inversion and it's claim to fame for the week is rating worst in the nation for air quality. VERY SAD. Why I've never moved home? Well, I could write a book on that one. Will I ever move home? Some of the pros are starting to outweigh the cons... you just never know what I'll do 'till I do it (another jumped in head first scenario--Rachel's style). So yep, anyway, I am in St. George. Got a great 12 mile run in the rain/sun/rain tease today. Soaked up the beauty, soaked in some peace.
Tomorrow weather dependent I'll be doing the Zion Century ride which I haven't done since '05 which I did 6 weeks after giving birth. Was I nuts? If not then, I am now in a completely different way. I'm snapping out of it though. I promise. Sunday I am planning to ride over from Bloomington to Green Valley on my mountain bike. I'll do a lap or two of the Rampage course and ride the GV loop home to Bloomington. One of my all time fave's. Monday, assuming I can still walk, I'll hit another run and maybe a light ride. If my legs won't work, my alternative will be to swim at my favorite public pool in the state, Sand Hallow Aquatic Center. I love that pool. Plus my little bro's girlfriend Jamie works there when she's in town. She rocks! Wow didn't mean to ramble on like that. I'll quit now before you fall asleep.

First Run

2008-02-07T18:07:00.000-07:00

So today I decided that I was either going to go crazy or try to run. I decided that since I'm already completely nuts, that I had better try the run. I prepared my poor rear as best I could. I took Advil (more drugs?). Before Canyon woke up, I went out to the snowbanks when no one was around--at least as far as I could tell, dropped my pants and sat in to ice until my butt was beyond numb. I know that sounds crazy, but it is certainly one thing I appreciate the snow for is instant ice packs. Ya, my rear felt good after that--or maybe it stayed numb long enough that I thought it was better? Anyway after that and a good stretch, I decided I was ready to run. After I took Canyon to school, I met up with Art and his new cute little pest, Lucy for a short run around Liberty Park. I was slow, protective, and in a little pain, but hey, I ran. I can't wait until I'm better. Afterwards I did an hour death sentence spin on my trainer in Art's basement staring at his pipes and counting the number of times I clubbed Lucy in the face with my pedal. Does she really forget that fast, or does she like being wacked?

So tonight? I am a little sore, but my mental/emotional side feels very, very, good.

Can't wait for the next run, and the next, and the next!

Still Here

2008-02-06T17:21:00.000-07:00

So I've had some concerned emails. Sorry everyone for the last post and then just to leave ya'll (my son's new twang and English dialect he picked up while visiting grandparents in Kentucky is starting to effect me--although I've been told I seem to have my own language and accent anyway by too many people to mention) hanging. I suppose that is the word. Hanging in there is about all that I can do right now. I still don't know if my sacrum is fractured. I'm not going to find out since I don't have time to go sit around a doc's office all day to then have them tell me 'yes it is broken and there is nothing we can do for you', or 'no it's not broken and there is nothing we can do for you' and then be charged $400 for the info. I am doing what I can right now, but snow biking is out (too much torque), skiing (same thing) and, my beloved running is out (too much impact) even with my gazelle like stride. So a couple road rides here and there--if I can find the black top under the snow, too much swimming, yoga with Jeff and lots of core work are my soul soothers at the moment.

At least when this season hits, there will be no sign of a burn-out factor from overdoing it. Right now I'm more concerned about finding my muscles under a bulging (to me anyway) belly.

Oh yes, and an announcement. I have had some friends wanting to meet up for a fantastic weekend March 6-8ish for Xterra worlds and USSSA snowshoe nationals up in Snowbasin. I am taking a count of all those interested so we can rent a place and have the best weekend ever with lots of kick ass races, good company, and eating, drinking, and merrying on. So let me know!

Broke

2008-01-29T21:14:00.000-07:00

Ouch! Last night I took one of my dogs for a walk around Liberty Park. She is still a puppy and doesn't quite get the leash thing yet. So the whole time I was trying to keep her from wrapping the leash around my legs. Unfortunately for me and my poor little tail bone, I failed miserably. I ended up hitting the ice hard on my back side. Today I'm still trying to figure out if it's cracked or just bruised. I have had shooting pain up my spine every time I put direct pressure on it and all of my muscles are completely seized which equals hamstring, butt, back and shoulder and neck pain. I haven't felt this much physical pain since I was in labor with Canyon. I don't typically cry when I'm in physical pain and I haven't, but I have been in tears on and off all day not knowing what to do--yep the mental and emotional side is doing me in. I am scared that if it's broken, the little bit of fitness I have left will seep away and the weight I have gained this winter will keep creeping up. I am trying so hard to be brave, but in the winter the only way I have ever survived is through exercise. What am I supposed to learn from this??? I'm trying to be as tough as I can. Things always get better, right? I am putting my energy towards that happening soon, or I might bail on this town as soon as next weekend. Guess I'll know then how badly I'm broke.

A Coach for the Coach

2008-01-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

Matt Finnigan is an awesome guy. He is one of the most positive and amazingly dedicated high school coaches I have ever heard of, let alone had the opportunity to work with. I hope he doesn't mind, but this is part of the post region meet email he sent out to his swimmers. I think I am the one who will benefit from it the most. So yes. Matt is also an amazing coach and mentor and inspiration for this coach. Me.

I would just like to say that despite the so called
"shortcomings" some of you may have encountered on this day, we are
indeed on the right track. This was a Region Championship meet, not
the meet we've been working all season for. You need to trust that
track and stick to it. This is not a time to wallow in a corner and
wish for better days. This is a time to stand up for yourself, stand
up for your teammates and make a stand for the fire I know that
resides inside your belly. Welcome and embrace the challenges ahead!

This is just the sort of obstacle that allows one to find out just
what kind of person you are, and the person you aspire to be in the
life you lead forward. There are many successful people in this world
who, by all counts, should not be successful if the pundits had
anything to say about it... Some, perhaps, live with these obstacles
every day, and though they've certainly wavered to and fro enough
times to count, they've NEVER been one to back down from the so-
called impossible, despite circumstances that sometimes appear too
extreme. My own daughter Lily, whom many of you have gotten know
quite well, is a living example of that...

There are a gazillion stories just like the ones I know of
personally, and there are a gazillion more that happen every day. All
it takes is for people to dare to be courageous and to strive to do
the best they can given the circumstances. Time and time again, we
witness adverse times bringing about growth and self awareness, and
with that, content in one's life. That in itself, tends to be a much
more meaningful and educating experience than simply showing up and
winning every dang race without much thought or struggle.

The question for you all now is, are you courageous enough to step up
in what could be deemed as an adverse situation, and find out who you
really are??

I have a distinct feeling--as many folks I talked to today will
concur---that the fine and loving individuals who make up this team,
are indeed up to the challenge... that this particular team wants to
know just what sort of heart it has beating inside.

All the best,

Matt Finnigan

I am going to read this every day until I live up to the potential I know is burning inside of me. I have had a lot of obstacles and shortcomings and right now I have slept two nights in about 3 months and have become quite ill from it. I am going to overcome this as well as all of my other demons. I want to be like Matt and inspire and grow and take everyone I possibly can up that mountain with me. Thanks so much Matt. Little did you know how much this girl needed your advice.

Inspiration

2008-01-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

For the past few months I've been given the opportunity to work as the strength and conditioning coach for the Judge Memorial High School swim team. As per my usual, I jumped into it head first without thinking. All I knew was that if I had the opportunity utilize in high school what I know now, I can't even imagine where I would be. So of course I wanted to share my knowledge (obsession). I feel so lucky that Matt Finnigan sought me out to work with them. Well it has most certainly been a mixed bag of lessons for me.
First is OMG! Working with over 30 energized teenagers 2-3 days a week can wear this energizer bunny out! How many teenagers do you know who get up to be at swim practice at 5:40 AM, go to school and then show up at 3-6 PM to strength train with me or do yoga and then swim again? Oh ya, they also have sat/sun swims. I thought I was doing a lot swimming my 4-5 days a week if I'm lucky--no wonder they are so fast!
Second is that it is so hard to keep so many swimmers motivated. A) They're in high school--even for these athletes, socializing is the priority if they can get away with it. B) Ya, dry land can be boring (unless you're a nut like myself and over do it because it is soooo much fun!). C) I had to be as creative as I could using spaces that weren't always adequate and mostly body weight strength training only options. This gave the kids lots of complaining opportunities as we played musical spaces, or I prefer to call it variety in training environments. D) I had to be a cheerleader even if I was tired. Who is going to be motivated if you have a cranky coach? E) Massage and Shavasana at the end of the workout--BRIBES are wonderful!!!
Three is I finally understand what coaches and teachers go through. For little or no money, they dedicate their lives to sharing love and knowledge with a bunch of kids who often act as though they don't care. They hope that from all they put into their work that somehow they will inspire some aspect of their lives and perhaps help them become greater human beings in even one facet of their lives. Well, I only spent a small part of my time this fall and winter helping them and I feel so lucky to have had that chance. Matt and Giulia (awesome assistant coach) are two of my new heros as they live and breathe for the Judge swimmers right now! I don't know how they do it. Amazing!!!! Now, I suppose what I'm mostly trying to say with all this jargon is, I don't know if or how I helped any of the kids. But, I know it wasn't a waste of time no matter what as Matt, Guilia, and all of the Judge swimmers inspired me in more ways than they may ever know.
So even though I wasn't able to spend as much time with the kids as I hoped or spend much time in the pool at all with them (life of a single working mom?), I hope that they will end this season understanding what having a strong core can do for their swimming and other athletic endeavors and that this little tri-girl loves them and is inspired to keep on swimming 'till I can keep up with the best of 'em.
So here are some pics from day one of regions before the meet. Ya, they're kicking ASS!

Two Cute Boys

2008-01-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

Snow Therapy

2008-01-15T18:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday was great! I finally received a much needed massage in the AM. Most people want to relax after a massage. When I receive them and can actually lift my limbs with full range of motion, I get all excited about being un-mangled. So then all I want to do is work out. I got invited/uninvited to go ride with Art and Co. Art was running late and asked me to drop him off at the shoreline trail head in City Creek. I was in a bad mood at this point and took Art's suggestion of running the trail for a little ways. Anyone that knows me well, knows that once I get going, I never want to stop. So I threw on my Nike Free's (no socks), didn't bother with gloves and took off up the snowy trail. In my head I was going to run for 20 minutes and then turn around. I ended up enjoying the sunshine and solitude so much that I took off my shirt and ran in my sports bra. I saw two people (who called me insane) after I passed my crazy snow cycling boyz and other than that had the trail to myself. Heaven. I love Heaven. Sometimes life becomes so crazy that I forget to go there. My 20 minute run turned into a 2 hour love fest with just me, the glistening snow, and the soft sounds of my light breath and footsteps dancing gleefully in the moment. I forgot about my worries, fears, etc. By the time I ran the entire trail to the end of Dry Creek and then back to my car, I felt whole again. It's so amazing how nature, sunshine, and solitude are such healers for me.
Today, I am still so high. When I am here, I can do anything and everything. This morning I went to my 5:45 AM speed workout with other like minded wonderful running friends. Then dragged Kang with me to swim. After swimming I dropped my car off at the service station and ran to the gym to meet Jeff for 2 hours of yoga. I gave massage for a few hours, ate a late lunch and picked up Canyon early from school.
Perhaps I will sleep tonight. Right now I am falling asleep at the computer. Can't ask for anything better than complete fatigue mixed with bliss on a sunny January day.

Snowshoe Race

2008-01-12T22:49:00.000-07:00

So what an insane week. Just about everything that could have gone wrong in the first half did. I was still really tired from the holidays, Canyon was sick, I'm trying to find a new home, etc. I feel as though I've let so many people down. Since I wasn't able to leave this weekend to help the Judge kids at their meet down south, I found that on Sat. AM I had the opportunity to race the Park City Rail Trail snowshoe race. It was only a 5k, but it was also the only qualifier in Utah for the USSSA Snowshoe Nationals in Snowbasin this March. So I went to my REI family (I know who has all the toys) and borrowed a set of running snowshoes from my good friend (Sis) Tamara Johns.

So at 10 AM I ran a snowshoe race. I hadn't used snowshoes for almost 6 years and wasn't certain how I would do for lots of reasons. 1 is I am out of running shape 2-3 days a week doesn't cut it. 2 I have been really tired and stressed. 3 is I feel like I need to hire a trainer or something as I have gained almost 7 pounds since Ironman 70.3 worlds in November (Oh well. It will just be that much sweeter when I am back in good race shape). 4 I could hardly remember how to put snowshoes on, let alone run in them--Good thing I am used to jumping into everything in life head first with a blind fold on!
Well despite all of those things, the Gods must have been with me as I not only qualified for Nationals, but I smoked the whole women's field. So, I reason. Maybe everything that kept me from going to sunny St. George this weekend was meant to be as perhaps I am meant to race those nationals. Or maybe the universe knows I needed something to really lift my spirits. Racing does that, winning puts me on top of my world. Good thing I'm not in control. Otherwise who knows what sort of trouble I'd be in! Oh ya! I called Tamara right after to let her know her snowshoes won the race! She laughed, so I think she was psyched her snowshoes are so awesome!

Rachel's Mid January Wish List

2008-01-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

So sometimes as part of my reality check, I have to figure out the things that are working for me and things that are not. Things that are working, I am grateful for. Things that are not, I am grateful I notice and I am trying to take the initiative to change.

Things that are not working=wish list=I will soon make work:

Yep folks. For the first time ever in the history of Rachel's life this time around, I have struggled to get myself to do my workouts. In the past, I have done my workouts + enough for 5 other people. Can I please quit being a pendulum swinger?!?! Thank you to those--mainly Art for giving me a swift kick in the Ass to get going. Anyone knows that when I don't get my endorphins, I turn into grouchy Rachie. So sorry to any of you effected by this. Antidote. Simply throw running shoes, a bicycle, or anything that gets me outside at me and don't let me come back in until I'm 'better'.

My living situation. For the last few months I have been living in a cute little condo in Park City. A. I am lucky. B. I am having a difficult time with it. My work, and everything else I know is in valley. What this means is I leave PC in the dark and get home in the dark. Equals no where to go mid-day when often I have a break in clients. I hate driving instead of riding. I can't afford the gas. I never see my friends. Driven too many scary snowstorms to count already this year. Solution is I either need to find a place to train/massage at least part time in Park City area, or move back down to valley. So if anyone knows of a nice place that needs renting that allows a dog in East side of valley or a place in PC that would love me working with them, send me an email or call!!!

My eating. This one is all me. Little miss all or nothing has done a bit of this eating wise, but mostly I have completely gone astray from my cherished healthy eating habits. I seem to like nibbling on crackers and pretzels and starburst jelly beans and drinking coffee all day long lately. This is a far cry from a girl who has been obsessed with healthy eating since I was 10. Read 100's of books on the subject. Has literally saved people's lives by helping them change lifestyle patterns. Is a walking encyclopedia on the subjects of juicing, cleansing, water, raw, vegan, vegetarianism, etc. etc. So what the hell is wrong with me??? I've turned into a hypocrite! Not to mention my already dry skin is now complete alligator skin, I have no patience (never was a virtue of mine), and it is not helping my mood, health, or ability to sleep. Yep HTFU Rach!

Oh ya, while I'm at it. I need baby-sitters!!! Canyon is sick right now and of course his school won't let him come back until he is better. His dad is unwilling to help out unless it is convenient for him which is almost never is. What this means is I had to cancel my evening clients today and may have to tomorrow if I don't figure something out which = no money = frustrated mommy. So. If anyone knows anyone who likes to baby-sit the cutest and most entertaining 3 year old (my little wild man), let me know! I'll hire you!!

So things that are working (can't leave these out). Good friends. All of my basic needs are met-just not my selfish, idealist, perfectionist Rachel needs. I get to race for the most awesome biking team, Monavie/Cannondale, on the face of the planet. I am looking forward to the best season ever next year!!!! I am learning a new winter sport. Skate Skiing. I have a love/hate relationship with it right now, but once I get the hang of it, watch out world (Strong legs, good VO2 max, great core strength--I'll be there with the best of you soon!). Right now I'm just great entertainment with falls, cursing, and five year-old passing me. And I got a last minute run in tonight and watched a beautiful sunset while I was at it before I headed up the hill will my little sick Canyon. Now that was lucky too!

Over Done

2008-01-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

Still recovering from crazy holiday. I learned again that Rachel is human and has her limits. So by the time I'd driven up and down Parleys for the 100th time to take care of my dog and 2 puppies, trained mine and Scott's clients, and massaged almost 40 hours in 5 days, I think I cracked. I've been dragging ever since. Today though, I am declaring myself Super Woman again, and I am going to HTFU until I'm better.
I've basically been so beyond tired I can't sleep or eat. This translates into no energy for the things I love: Working out, My son, My friends, My clients, The Judge kids. Which translates into a grouchy Rachel who can't function or think straight.
So even though I don't typically believe in drugs for myself, dire situations require a different line of thinking. So I am taking a sleeping pill to help me get back on track. I am always weary of those things. My body seems to be so sensitive to anything like that. Last time I took one, I woke up 16 hours later and was in a complete twilight zone for the next 2 days. But, I got the sleep I needed. So to those of you I am planning on seeing tomorrow, and if by chance I don't show up, my apologies in advance.

Week After Christmas

2008-01-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

So Scott took Canyon with him to Kentucky on Christmas Eve for a week to visit grandparents. I was so excited to have a break and have time to do everything I rarely get to do lately as a single mom of one awesome two year old (3 on the 3rd!). Uh ya. So I seem to have this thing about me that just can't possibly allow me to have a moment of nothing to do.
So instead of two a day workouts, cleaning my car, home, visiting my sis I haven't seen in 18 months in St. George, etc. Holy Shilitos! Instead I worked with some of my local clients, Scott's clients, my wonderful clients from the East Coast in town for a New Year's rally. Drove endlessly up and down Parleys to take care of Kira and two of the cutest labrador puppies in the world Art has named Hank and Lucy (does this mean you want them Art? I know you do...) By the way, Art, thanks for taking up my slack. On top of this I had a friend show up last minute to stay for 5 days and I can't help but feel like I need to entertain although in this case I fell way short. There is only one Rachel (I often feel like I need 5 or 6 of me).
Needless to say, a crazy 2007 ended with the chaos I have almost come to expect is normal. Is it? Oh ya, if you ever need someone to teach you how to come out of a triple 360 down the hill on an unplowed road in Kimball Junction with cars in all directions without hitting any of them and driving out of it without a scathe, call me. Too bad I don't have a picture after that one. Ever seen a ghost with its heart in her throat? Ya, that was me. I think I need new tires on my Subaru--and a vacation!

Anyway here's to an awesome 2008!

Tagged

2007-12-27T20:01:00.000-07:00

So Mommy T tagged me. I suppose this means like her I'm supposed to disclose 5 things about myself others might not know. The problem is, is all I do is talk about me. Doesn't everyone know everything? Hmmm...... I put some things, but bear with me if it's common knowledge.

1) I was first a dancer before a cyclist/tri-girl. I danced from 3 to age 20 when I got hit by a car and broke my patella. This led me to getting basically kicked out of the modern dance program at the U. Which in turn left more time for biking and running. LUCKY ME!!!---I do miss dancing sometimes still....

2) I had 2 types of jobs in high school. I framed houses for my dad and I also baby-sat and cleaned some of my neighbor's houses.

3) My nicknames growing up were: School friends called me Ciesle and Crazy Rach (that one still comes up a lot), My dad called me Rachel Sue (long story) and my favorite neighborhood mom called me dancing vegetarian, or running vegetarian when she saw me out, and it was Cinderella when I cleaned her house (I always wondered if she knew my real name).

4) I used to be a science geek. My science projects each year led me to the international competitions and also NASA had me go to their jet propulsion labs in Pasadena when I was a senior in high school to present some of my research. It's hard to believe Rachel's mind used to work like that. Word of advice. NEVER sustain brain trauma-not good for the mind :)

5) I was given my first race bike by my friend Josh Henderson. I am forever thankful for him for dragging me to my first mountain bike race in St. George in 1999 where I was completely humiliated by the beginner's field. From that point forward, I knew I wanted to be a bike racer. I still want to be a bike racer/ tri-geek---Makes my world go round!

So five other cyclists who need to disclose 5 things others might not know. Art, Sly, T-Bird, Jorge, & Danny R

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is having a great holiday. I know in some cases like mine, it is unfortunately more like surviving the holiday, but things are always on their way to getting better. Although my little Canyon would probably be thrilled with a drum set since it fits his wild attitude perfectly, he settled for a keyboard. When I was little other than spending all day outside in the mud (some things never change), my favorite thing to do was to pound away on the piano. This turned into a life-long love of music, especially the piano. As I got older and could actually read music, I would spend hours and hours each week playing Christmas music---all year round. Amazing my family didn't sellme :) I haven't had a piano since I left home 10 years ago, but play whenever I can find one. Canyon (perhaps all children do) really loves playing piano as well when we go to Grandma and Pop-Pops. My playing sessions have turned into duets as Canyons little fists try to keep up with my fingers. Perhaps I should gift my family with earplugs? Since a piano for us is still out of reach at this point, the keyboard will have to do. Santa came early for him as yesterday his Dad took him to Kentucky to visit his family. Needless to say, the keyboard is a hit! Best thing about it? Volume control. I love technology!
Oh ya, for any of you who live here and feel like coming up to PC tonight 6ish or whenever, I am having friends over for dinner (or just to hang out) and to watch my favorite Chritmas movie (if that fails, we can watch bike races or your favorite xmas movie if you bring it). Let me know if you're interested...

Love you all!

No money in the sport

2007-12-21T06:56:00.000-07:00

So every now and then (or quite often!) I read a blog post or article in Velo news, etc. about there being no money in the sport. Bart recently brought up some interesting thoughts about why the sport is not evolving as it could in his latest reads. Coming from someone, that in this town at least, everyone knows, respects, and secretly wishes we ride like, it really made me think.

Ya, I rarely read Velo news because you always hear about the same people, the same doping problems, etc., etc. I for one love hearing stories of all riders. Blogs are usually where I spend my time these days as you get to learn about real people who love for their sport so much that they find a way to make it happen. The ultrafast genetic freaks definitely inspire me in that they show limits of human potential, but it is most certainly everyone else and each story of each rider that really stirs my own passion to race--this is especially when the majority of the professional stars cheat to get where they are. When I make it big in my triathlon world, I am going to prove that it can be done with pure love of heart and taking ultimate care of my body while training/racing and living day to day.

If I only got into biking for $$$, I would have been gone a long time ago. It is so much more to me than just the dollars. Every now and then I win a little cash which is nice, but even when I know I'm spending so much more--for me almost everything I have to race, the why I race is so much more important. Everyone who knows me very well, knows that even being able to get on my bike or run the last 7 years has been difficult and at times when my health wouldn't permit it, completely impossible. Oddly, it is those times when I couldn't do the things that bring me so much joy, that I truly learned how much I love it. I will never ever take what I have that way for granted ever again. Biking and now triathlon brings me the greatest sense of freedom I have ever felt. I love pushing my body and each day finding what my potential is. Sometimes it is greater than others, but I love to dream about where it will take me each moment and day and year and through my life.

I know a lot of people don't like him, but Lance Armstrong is such an example to me. It is so amazing that for him to finally find true success in cycling, he went through his own version of hell. When he finally came back with purpose and passion rather than just anger, his body responded and took him to places I'm not certain even he had fathomed. The cool thing to me is that through his story, passion, and yes, his wins, he won Americas hearts. Look at what this did for our sport. So many 1,000's of people found the courage in their own hearts to pick up a bike perhaps for the first time since childhood. Beyond that, they picked up on the energy of helping others and found a purpose beyond themselves to ride. Imagine if every ride and race we all did had a purpose and passion beyond just our egos. Amazing things happen.

The focus right now in the media and in most of our minds is on doping. That is all anyone is noticing. It's no wonder cycling has such a reputation. I know we can change it. I love the ideas I've seen posted about sending stories to Velo News and other media outlets about some of our local heros and good things going on in our town. I love it that Mama T. and Jennie , etc. set up a blog for women biking fanatics! I love seeing racers who go out of their way to welcome all riders into our community even if it is just acknowledging others when riding instead of just giving a self-proclaimed elitist snub. What is that?!? It is funny to me because so often I'll be out riding and if I'm in my race kit, everyone says hi. If I'm not, very rarely do they. What is that all about? All I know is that I am going to continue as best as I can to bring a positive energy to both my cycling and triathlon game and hopefully everyone will do the same. Even if I only help one other person fall in love with cycling, at least that is one person, which grows in to two, then four, then eight....Just watch!

I suppose my bottom line with this entire rampage is that I am going to do all I can to spread a positive image concerning my sport and life in general. I encourage everyone else to do the same. By focusing on all of the fun and positive aspects, and especially healthy drug/cheat free racing, all of those dopers will eventually kill themselves off anyway....leaving room for more people, competition, positive media (uh maybe), more $$$ etc. Happy riding!!

Been a Few

2007-12-19T05:54:00.000-07:00

So race report has taken me a few days to put up. Mostly as I wasn't happy with the way my race panned out. I literally had a back row start which makes moving up 10 rows towards the front on a technical course like we had pretty difficult. I wasn't worried and was just looking forward to a fun race against the big girls. What I didn't plan on was there being a big crash within the first 10 seconds of the race which I fortunately did not go down in. But, I literally was forced to a complete stop, had to unclip just in time to lift my front wheel sideways as not to plow over a fallen ridder. Yep. Sometimes you learn how precious a 20 second delay is when you watch the remainder of the field ride away.
I started riding again as fast as I could and caught some girls and slowly moved up the field as much as I could. I did eventually get pulled at the end as Compton lapped much of the field. I was frustrated, but fine with the experience until later that night when I saw results posted. WTF!?! They had me listed as second to last which is completely inacurrate and sent me into an anger/frustration mode that lasted much longer than Art's 15 minute bitch rule. Try 2 days. I didn't protest as it was too late and even if things did get fixed, I wouldn't have been in contention regardless, but I just hate seeing false results.
How do I feel now? I'm over it, but determined to figure out a way to go to some bigger UCI races next year after tri season's over to pick up some points so I can get a better start placing. Also, what did I expect? I went there to freeze my little hiney off to help work pit and support my friends. I had so much fun! It was just like when I was younger and in college hanging out with a bunch of brothers. The best part is that it was back with much of the same people with a few additions and also a few I'm missing. The other thing is that I graduated from sleeping on the floor in the hotel room to a bed. There are definitely some very good things about growing up a little.
Again, the men delivered in the Sunday races. I am so proud of our Utah boys!!! Check out Art, DrX, KCCX, sites for reports on those. Still one of the highlights of the trip is when we were trying to leave for the airport. Art started the rental car, shut the door and locked the keys in. I couldn't do much else but laugh at him as he freaked out at 4AM. Somehow I knew we'd still make the flight. We found out out difficult it is to get a lock smith to come out at 4 AM on a Monday morning with single digit temps. Luckily Art found a new talent in that he has now graduated to unlocking car doors with coat hangers. So with 55 minutes until our flight once we finally left, things had to go perfectly for us to make it. 20 mile drive no problem. Shuttle service to the terminal from rental center. Good as well. We then barely made the cut off time for checking in, had absolutely zero line at security (a miracle?) and arrived just in time to see Bart, Mitchell, and Bill chilling in the chairs waiting for the same flight. I just had to laugh.

Wow! These guys are awesome!!!

2007-12-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

So despite polar conditions today, some of our Utah guys HTFU'd for some great results. Yep, snow came in last night with flurries and wind all day. Supposedly it was 25 degrees, but with my lack of an internal heater and the fact I wasn't doing much to move my blood, I froze! So Art totally came on board to take a top 10 finish with 9th in the men's 40-45 field. Gallagher was right in there as well until his tubulars gave in to the frozen ruts and rolled right off his wheel. So I thought it was just golfers who threw their clubs. But Jon took it to a different level and hucked his bike right off the course. He'll take his revenge I'm certain at worlds! Sam Kreig took a 10 place finish, Ali finished 8th, and our Mitchell finished 25. Congratulations guys!!!
Tomorrow for my race my number is 93 of 99 racers. Yep this means I start back row of almost 100 racers. I definitely have my work cut out for me! Kris Walker, and Kathy Sherwin will also be in the mix; fortunately with better starting places. Mitchell will have a chance to make up some places in the Collegiate race along with Erin in the women's collegiates. And Bartmang will clean house in the Men's elite field. For my sake, I'm wishing for a little less wind!
For now, I'm glad to me nice and warm in my hotel room after a 45 minute hot as it will go shower to thaw out my frozen limbs!

Nationals in Kansas?

2007-12-14T16:16:00.000-07:00

So we arrived in Kansas yesterday. Sly delivered our bikes this morning. I'd forgotten how nice it is to fly when I don't have to haul a bike case around with me. I think TSA was on one though because me and the two people ahead and behind me all had our bags searched for illegal items. I happened to have in my possession a little mini Swiss knife with a 2 inch blade and purple flowers on it confiscated. Not that it hasn't been in my bag all summer on 15 different airplane trips. But that is beside the point. They decided that this time I might just use it as a weapon. TSA I must say makes my love to travel turn into a pain in the a* in more ways than I can count.
Once we got here it has been great! Lots of friendly familiar faces from good ol' Utah. Also most of my Monavie/Cannondale team members showed up to rally the fields as well! So cool! I love my team!
With the residual from the ice storms here last week and slightly above freezing temps, the course is essentially a rutted out mud soup right now. Even my slower practice laps spanked me pretty hard. I must of needed to get some pent up energy out of my system though as I opted to ride back to the hotel which is about 4 miles from the race venue. The problem is that my subpar navigational skills kicked in big time, again, and I got lost. I get lost every race I go. Lately it has been mostly driving. Today, I had wet feet from the race course, no water, food or extra clothing. Just like old days--little miss unprepared! I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever learn! So after going 16 miles out of my way and finally stopping for directions half way through (otherwise who knows how far I would have gone!!). Just to find out I'd gone in the complete opposite direction from my hotel, I made my way back. The funny thing about this is I couldn't remember what exact little town, my hotel, or anything else about where I was staying. Luckily I was somewhat close to a mall that the locals recognized by another weak description, and so I headed towards that. Then, I thought I was lost again, looked across a freeway and there was my hotel anyway! Leave it to me! Fair warning, if you ever travel anywhere unfamiliar with me, don't let me drive or navigate; you will be lost with me!
So anyway, I'm looking forward to helping Art and company at their races tomorrow (snow's coming in tonight--hopefully it will freeze and pack out the course) and picking up a cowbell to bring home to Canyon to help him on his way in becoming the number one cheerleader out there until he is big enough to race himself!

28?

2007-12-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

Birthday Cake and 28 Candles
Originally uploaded by catsper

So tomorrow is my birthday. I've always had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I believe birthdays are the best holidays. It is the day to celebrate a person's life and being. Much better than the commercial exploiting that has ruined every other holiday. I typically love everyone's birthday but mine. Most years it has always been downplayed (too close to Christmas), forgotten, or in college--ruined by stressful finals.

This year, I just seem stuck in my 'stuff'. It's been a great year in some ways. I reconnected with many of my friends whom I missed so much and thankfully are back in my life. I also met so many amazing new friends; thinking of all of you makes my heart sing. Racing, despite so much hardship, has been getting better and better. I am racing for the best bike team, Monavie/Cannondale, that I could possibly imagine being a part of. I also train some of the cutest highschool swimmers on the planet and have the most amazing massage and personal training clients!

On the down side, almost 7 years after my accident, I was finally forced to accept the fact that given my current circumstances, the residual bills were going to continue to haunt me, perhaps permanantly. I've been trying to pay them off, but with interest and the great number of them, it proved impossible to get ahead. The final blow was having a law suit slapped on me from a cold creditor with a judgement placed so high, I had no other choice but bankruptcy. The next hard part was I filed on my own because I couldn't afford a lawyer--yes, I did have some very dear friends help me. Yikes! Talk about sleepless nights. Mix all that in with almost 3 months of not having a real place to live, breaking up with my son's father for reasons I just can't even believe still, and in the midst of all of this, losing about 70 percent of my clientele because I just couldn't figure out how to balance it all.

It's funny how my racing really got me through it. Despite everything else, I knew that I had my next race coming up and couldn't let myself completely give in to my complicated situation. Now that the season is over, I suppose that the little bit of time I have to think is too much. Everything is sinking in and it's a little too overwhelming. I'll pull out of it. Please bear with me, while I do!

So this year, my birthday will be busy and full of work. This along with thoughts of where I thought I'd be at this time in my life isn't leaving me in the best place unfortunately. I think I don't like my birthday this year. 27 was tough.

So for my 28th year, I am going to do my best to wipe the slate clean. I am learning to trust again (others, life, racing). I know things can only get better. I am trying to find my own place to live and support my-self and Canyon. I know I will rebuild my clientele soon. The support team is there for my racing. Also, I can't wait to see how strong and fast I get when I am actually eating and sleeping! I'm trying hard to remember that when things go wrong, there are always good things and life lessons that come from them.

Thanks everyone who was there for me this year. Here's to an awesome 28th!

Best Snow Day Ever!

2007-12-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

Man! For a girl who the hates the cold, I sure had some of the best fun I can remember in the snow yesterday. Yep it was 'cross again. I raced the B field to start and ended up sandbaging the race. I ended wet, muddy, and numb in the toes--and very happy. Then Art came running up to me and told me I was racing the women's A race which was in 10 minutes. So I stayed muddy, downed a Monavie gel, and did my best to thaw out the toes and headed to the start line.
So here is where my lack of technique showed its' not so pretty face.
Getting off the bike at the barriers, no problem. Getting on the bike, by the time I even started pedaling, anyone I was with was gone and any gaps I'd made were gone as well. That much more motivation to get the skills. Luckily I had fast legs. I ended up placing 5th in the A field and finishing feeling strong. Who knew that triathlons (endurance+) would carry over so well in a 'cross race. My other lucky thing? 6+ years commuting EVERYWHERE by bicycle because I would rather ride than work extra hours to buy a car. So snow/mud riding, no problem!! All those years I came home from riding in freezing weather, frozen to the bone, pay day is now here! Really, except for the days that I was extra tired and overtrained, I miss commuting so much it hurts. Having Canyon, at least for these first few years has changed my current mode of transportation. I look forward to the day when I can commute by bicycle again on a regular basis.
So anyway, I hope everyone else had as much fun as I did. I know that Art for one had a great race right up to almost the end when his legs decided they were done early and locked up. This unkind act on his leg's part, sent him straight into the barriers when he jumped off the bike. Needless to say, I think (hope?) he got the final part of Murphy's law out of the way for this season. So the positive side of having a broken shifter, derailleur, and a shin bone with a goose egg the size of his knee, is the A-train proved by hanging with Bart and Ali until his barrier/mud session, his fitness is now officially back--just in time for a rip'n time at Nationals next week!
So anyway, Mr. Ohran, thank you so much for creating the Utah cyclocross series! I appreciate so much all of the work You, Jon, Flahute, Bruce, Gardie, etc., etc., put into helping so many people get out and have the most fun ever in cold, often nasty conditions. You guys are awesome. Oh ya, thanks Art for dragging me out to my first race. I think you've created a 'cross monster---another addition to this girl's two-wheeled obsessions/addictions! Sorry everyone--not really!

Oh Please God, Let There Be a Cross Race!!!

2007-12-07T14:14:00.000-07:00

So I didn't know that weather could be bad enough to cancel a cross race. I thought that's what cross was all about. I know the concern is mainly about everyone getting to/from the venue safely which makes sense. I am so hooked on cross now, I'm dreaming about it. Kind of crazy thinking that I practically had to be bribed to do my first one. So seeing as I've now competed in 3 and had a hay day at every one. I am so psyched to race in Ogden, so here's to hoping the weather's bad, but not terrible enough to be cancelled? Hmmm......Especially considering this tri-geek (crazy Rach???) is going to be racing----or at least trying not to get pummeled or pulled---in the elite race at Cross Nationals next Sunday. Now you don't even want to know how this came about...
So on that tangent, here is my next concern. The borrowed bicycle I am riding of the awesome and kind Miss Vee has disc brakes. Big problem. Disc brakes are not allowed at Cross Nationals. So, for exchange of cash, massage, personal training, or some other service I may have of value, I am looking (begging?) for someone to come forth and let me borrow their 50 cm (0r close) cross bike without disc brakes. Anyone interested?!?! Promise I'll take good care of it and bring it back all nice, clean, and shiny.
For now though, I'm off to train the Judge swimmers.

Running, Yoga, & a short muddy ride

2007-12-04T21:12:00.000-07:00

So this morning I got up and went to running group at 5:45. It is so fun to run with them. I don't know any other people who can be so happy and funny when it's dark, freezing cold, and insanely early in the AM! We met at East High Track which was covered in snow. So instead we ran to the U and ran/slid on ice all over campus too many times for this ADD child to remember. Good times.

Then I went and woke Art up at 7:30 AM to talk his ear off and to get V's bike (sorry Art) incase I wanted to ride later.

Okay so here is why (the 1,000,000th reason) I am the luckiest girl in the world. I went from Art's house to my gym to meet my friend and the most amazing yoga teacher in the world and did crazy back bends stuff, hand stands, etc. for 2 hours--just me and him. Jeff Silverstein has been my main yoga teacher for several years now. He is so awesome! If anyone needs to find a yoga teacher, he just may be your man. He is also an ultra runner and ski maniac on top of everything else! It was great! By the way, if I can't walk tomorrow, you'll know why!

So it was like a Saturday because all of my clients either cancelled or rescheduled. So since I just did 3 hours of workouts, I decided I needed to go to PC to catch up on book work and write a few programs. On my way up the 39oo South hill, I saw Burke riding his bike. It made me so jealous! I love riding so much!

I got home and did some work, couldn't handle it anymore. I jumped on my bike and thought I was going to ride Glen Wilde. Um, kind of! Most of the Snow had melted and it was a mushy mud fest starting about 400 feet into the ride. Needless to say, I lasted until the turn-off for the loop. Just enough time on the trail to get myself and the bike completely covered in mud! Then I stuck to the roads. Good thing Art is my new self-proclaimed mechanic--So hey Art, my bike needs help! I don't know if he realized that trying to keep up with four different bikes for me would be such a job on top of however many he rides.

Anyway. Good day. Good times with some cool friends. Oh and to top it off, Canyon read to me tonight---bet you never knew that Mickey Mouse lived during the dinosaur era...

Oh Happy Day!

2007-12-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I did just as I said for the warm-up. I went swimming at Steiner at 6:30. Then I went and picked up Canyon from his dad's and headed to the X race. I practiced my yoga breathing so I didn't have the panick attack I thought I might have thinking about racing in a crazy snowstorm again. Theresa and Art gave the good race reports about how everything was, so I won't bore you here. Needless to say, I had such a fun race! My only problems were a dropped chain and my darn beanie under my helmet kept slipping down and blinding me the last two laps. I was about ready to throw the helmet and hat by the end. When I finished the race I was really frustrated because I hadn't caught the last girl. I suppose that goes along with typical Rachel because I must have passed her somewhere because I won! Leave it to me to finally win and have absolutely no clue :) Wahoo! My third cross race ever--tri-geek skills and all!
Canyon thought it was pretty cool too. After my race, I was pushing him around on my bike and he was playing, 'race like Mommy'. Just wait 'till next year. He'll be out there racing the little kids races! My mom used to always say to my hyperactive personality that she hoped I have one just like me. Serve me right? Heck ya!!!!
Anyway good job to everyone and thanks Matt, Jon, and everyone who put on another fantastic race!

Confession

2007-11-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

I'm probably the only one who will be at the cross race tomorrow wishing it was sunny and warm...being the tri-geek I am, I am planning on a 6:30 AM swim at Steiner followed by a short stretch session in the sauna to "warm-up" for the race. We'll see if the blood starts flowing to the extremities of these long skinny arms. If not, well, you will see first hand why cold=slow and hot=fast for this girl. I really am trying to defy my typical cold weather fate :)

My Costa Rica

2007-11-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

So it is crazy how each person's experience can lead to such different feelings/attitudes. My Costa Rica trip is a warm sunny memory in my heart. I spent 15 days in Nosara swimming, running, doing yoga, and enjoying each day filled with wonderful, exercise and playing, hot sunshine, and the most amazing fruits and veggies I've ever had!
I wish I could take Matt, Bart, Jason, Tom and the gang there to ride bikes just because, and surf in perfect waves. Yep. When I win the lotto I'm taking all of my friends there. Then we'll all love it so much that we'll stay and never go home and never, ever grow up...

Ya, by never growing up, I don't mean not to be responsible, but to live freely and in the moment. When I am struggling with this, I start dreaming again, of times when it was so easy to be in that place...

Zombie?

2007-11-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

That's about what I am feeling like. I am always talking about the difference between the masses of zombies I see walking around and how very few people seem to actually be 'alive' and 'awake'. A beautiful sight, those who really live... I typically consider myself as one who lives freely and fully, but this year I really got the rug pulled out from under me. I'm living in PC right now which would be great, except that it adds about 4X as much gas and miles and time spent in the car that could be spent 'living'. I would love it up here if I actually got to enjoy the outdoors, exept I leave for SLC in the AM in the dark and arrive in the PM in the dark. It pretty much sucks. I get home and by the time I get everything done for Canyon and clients for the next day, I am dead tired and the night is so late. Then I wake up super early just to fly down the canyon with Canyon just in time to meet my first clients 5 minutes late. Rat races. I refuse to live that kind of chaos. I only like chaos if I get to choose it and make my own rules concerning it. I am feeling like I am losing a bit of my spark and I refuse to submit to a life that is anything but adventure.
So very long story short as to how I actually ended up in the exact situation I'm in, here I am! Plain and simple. I do feel like I need 1 of 2 things to happen.
A) I either need to move back to valley so I don't feel so spread out--this would dictate that I again a) find a place to live that is affordable for my meager budget these days and accomodates my son as well, and b) HTFU and start working more hours that I actually get paid for so the budget isn't quite so tight
B) HTFU and find a way to start working a couple of days in Park City area so I feel like it is more worth living up here in the land of xtra freezing weather...
Suggestions anyone?

Snow.

2007-11-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

Ya, so I have mixed feelings about snow. Things I dig:

1) No drought. I love water.

2) Skiing. I am/was (until Canyon--will be again) a fair weather skier. I am excited to bring out the Tele's and Skate Ski's (thanks Abby) this year.

Yep that's about it for the likes. Now for things I don't like:

1) It's cold! God forgot to put an internal heater in this skinny little body and I'm still trying to figure out how I survived six years commuting by bicycle in it!

2) January/February inversions. One word. YUCK!

3) Plain and Simple. I prefer blue sky and sunshine and wearing as little clothing as possible. Winter does not favor that. Perhaps I'm living in the wrong area. All I can think about is 1) Hawaii, 2) Costa Rica 3) Any where it is warm and sunny. But then, spring eventually comes....and she's still here....dreaming...

So the sad reality? This is something I am completely capable of,which is why, as some friends pointed out at dinner the other day, most people don't just laugh with me. They laugh at me. Duh! I know that. So I laugh with them at me. Does that make sense?

Anyone need a puppy?

2007-11-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

So if anyone needs a really cute 10 week old labrador puppy, you've found the right place. I have six of them that need homes. They are AKC registered, guaranteed not to have hip or eye problems and are the cutest little things you've ever seen. So having one big dog and 6 little ones is cute. Having 7 big dogs is not. So please help me!

Oh ya, the cross race. Yep. The legs worked despite feeling completely mangled from my crashes yesterday. No crashes today either. Guess that's lucky I got them over with when no one was there to hear the stream of profanity that sometimes escapes in those situations. I just need to learn to gun it from the start. My head still thinks it's in a 4 hour+ half-ironman race.
The course was awesome. I had so much fun on it. I just wish my ADD wouldn't kick in while I was racing because I managed to get myself lost again. The sad thing was that it was on the 3rd lap. How do I get lost on a course I warmed up on and then had raced 2 laps? It takes a very "special" person.

Ouch!

2007-11-23T20:35:00.000-07:00

So just when I thought I was getting pretty good at my cross dismounts/remounts, I just had to crash. This was on the dismount which I had (or thought) no problems with. I was practicing for tomorrow's race and did the classic swing my leg over to step down, but oh! I forgot to clip out. Ouch! So I start riding again determined to dismount correctly from here on out and I crash again. This time on the remount. I was so focused on keeping my speed, that when I went to get back on the bike, I jumped into (the goal is to jump onto the bike) the bike and went down again in a tangle of limbs and pedals. Needless to say, I rode home after that. Just when I was getting cocky, of course! Tomorrow, I'll HTFU for the race! Or, perhaps I should borrow my son's training wheels?

Damage: Bicycle-unharmed. Rachel-6 bruises, 1 four inch piece of missing skin on right quad, 1 sore left hip and butt, 1 sore left knee, 1 long tire mark from ankle to belly, 1 humbled ego

Happy Thankful Day

2007-11-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

This is a hard time of the year for me to count my blessings. Perhaps this is why they put the Thanksgiving Holiday now?
So, I've got to unload some gripes first:
-Tri season's over :(
-It's cold (ran an hour this AM in single digit Park City chill) :(
-Yep, winter's a comin' :(
-It's hard to be a single mom :(

Okay, now for good things!:
-I get to race the last cross races of the season! :)
-There is no shortage of hot tubs, saunas, tanning beds, hot showers,
etc., to use after freezing cold workouts-or any break I happen to get :)
-Abby is teaching me to skate ski this winter. I am finally going to dig my
tele's out again for some good ski touring--hit me up if you want to go!
--Oh ya! That's if we get snow--Otherwise, we just may be riding the Crest all winter. In that regard, hit me up if you want a good biking buddy :)
-My son, Canyon, rocks :)
-I have the coolest friends in the world, all over the world :)
-I have the coolest clients in the world :)
-I get to kick Judge Memorial swim team's ass dryland training, and they in return are kicking mine into swimming fast-watch out next season! :)
-I got to have Thanksgiving breakfast this morning with Art since he had to work tonight (no turkey in sight!). I didn't have to eat Thanksgiving dinner. Nope, no pretending to eat turkey (hoping there's a dog nearby) or pretend to like other too high carb and fat dishes. :)
-Yep, life is good! :)

To Further Prove...

2007-11-20T20:42:00.001-07:00

Okay, so race season's over right? I just can't seem to get enough! I have been learning how to ride/race cross bikes for a few weeks now. I missed last weekend's race in Poci, but there are still 3 local races left in the season. And then, there's NATIONALS..... So, I was planning on going to support my friends, but there aren't only men's races. There is a women's B race (appropriate for me at this point), and then, there is the Pro women's race.
Hmmm....So, ideally I would race the B race which is on Thursday and watch the pro race Sunday and get all psyched to learn more and try to be good enough to race it competitively next season. But, I won't be flying into town until Thursday night. That leaves the Pro race which I technically am qualified to race as I hold an elite roadrace license. One problem. No experience in this type o' field.
Since I do tend to jump into everything I do headfirst with a blindfold, it really wouldn't be that surprising to practically the whole world. At least it would be good spectator entertainment watching a tri-geek trying to rally the field.
Man am I tempted! Yes. This would definitely further prove everyone else's 'Crazy Rach' theory. But what is life without adventure and the good stories that come after I survive/recover?

Flip Side

2007-11-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

So everything typically has its opposite, right? Well I guess I just had to complain about my Saturday for everything to change course (or maybe just my attitude?) for the better. Saturday evening I dropped Canyon off with Scott and headed up towards Alta to give massages to some awesome friends/clients of mine, the Hoffs. Double bonus-my brother and his family were there and I got to catch up with them. Here's the thing about the Hoff family. They are some of the most generous, real, happy, positive, fun-loving people on the planet. Anytime I'm around them or their friends, I can't help but feel and be the same!

Sunday--that much better! I did yoga for an hour and a half first thing. Good. Went on a perfect bikeride up Emigration Canyon with Art--Wow!!! I hated the canyon for the 2 years (it seems) it took them to fix the road, but man is it awesome now! Not to mention perfect weather in the 60's. Is it really Novemeber?

Unfortunately we got back too late for me to meet up and swim with the Judge kids. I was pretty worked at that point anyway--Yep, I am trying to learn that 3-4 hours of workouts daily is plenty (or sometimes none), not 6-8 like I used to do. Yes I do still test that sometimes. Yes I do pay for it every time!
Then I spent the rest of the day spending time with good company and went and picked up Canyon at 6 from his dad and headed up to canyon to home.
Today--I'd like a repeat of yesterday please!

Rough Morning

2007-11-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

Well today I do feel better and would have totally had a fun race in Poci. One thing, no babysitter. I get so frustrated sometimes. If I had willing family nearby or maybe a lot of $$$ to pay people, it seems like it would be so easy. But nope, so friends left without me on their day's adventure. I originally never dreamed A) that I would have a child, or B) that I would be a single parent. Both came as surprises and both carry their rewards and burdens. Today feels like a burden day. All Mr. Canyon can talk about is how he wants to go to SL and be with Daddy which makes it that much harder.

Some good things: The sun is shining and I'm going to take Canyon on a little hike soon. My friend Philipe sent me a beautiful poem that I received this morning--

How easily we become attached to places, people, a way of life.
It is hard to say when it begins or when you actually know for sure,
But suddenly the old life is no longer there.
It is a memory, a good one,
But never to be looked back upon with longing.

There is a new life here,
Where the water glistens with tears,
And the wind makes music in the trees,
And the sunsets... well, you just have to see one to know.

It is a big place;
You cannot see it all in an hour or two or a day or even a summer.
There are so many things to learn and so many ways to grow.
And the people there:
They share something very special,
Something never again to be experienced.
They hold within them so much love that it is overflowing.

This place has given so very much... can we keep it inside?
No, we don't want to. Our joy is to share it with others!
~ author unknown

Picture of my favorite black sand beach (Kalapani) on Big Island. I miss it...

Decisions

2007-11-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I figure since I felt this one coming on for a while and I just knew I couldn't get sick before 70.3 Worlds (felt pretty awesome!), I can make it go away too. It's been 3 days and I'm totally over having to cancel clients and miss out on awesome rides, runs, etc. while the weather is still decent. Art tells me it's my body's way of forcing me to rest since otherwise I wouldn't. I say I rested enough and I'm ready to rally and get my life going again! So, by Saturday, I'd better be 100%. How else am I going to go kick some tail in the Pocatello x race tri-geek style? I'll let you know if mind over matter works in this case...

Ugh!

2007-11-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so now that my races are over for the season except for a couple of cool cyclocross races, I really need to focus on earning some $$$ and putting my life back together after a crazy summer of everything but the racing falling apart. BUT, the body has other plans. I never get sick. Okay, only when I am completely blown. So, I suppose I must be? I can hardly stand up right now. Dizzy, sore throat, achy, coughing, tired, yuck! This had better run its course fast. I have an agenda...

Made It

2007-11-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

Wow. I know know what it feels like to compete in a world championship half-ironman with about half the training typically deemed necessary. One word. OUCH! But, my swim was a little better thanks to Matt Finigan and the Judge Memorial swim team. I am planning on training them dryland in exchange for swimming lessons all winter. Already, I am improving. Not quite enough for this weekend, but watch out next year, I will be killing the field!!!

So no pics of the bike, but I feel like I did pretty well. Averaged 23 MPH and felt strong. The frustrating thing is that so many people drafted. At least I know I raced an honest race, but it was frustrating to see other people post better results overall because they drafted. Oh well. Soon I'll beat them regardless. Art is helping me big time with the bike and it will be there.

My run was surprising awesome for me. I was hoping to hit somewhere in the hour 30 minute range, but since it was only my second Ironman 70.3 ever, I wasn't sure what to expect. I felt slow, but my posted time was 1:34:54 (7:14 second miles). I am pleased with that, but again I know I will do better.

My overall time was 4 hours and 45 minutes. Kind of funny, I started at 7:15 AM and finished at noon on the dot!

Other good things are I got to spend some time with my friend Angela Snyder who is one of those wonderful souls who helped me get into cycling. I also met up with my friend Ramon Serrano and his cute wife whom I met at St. Croix 70.3 in May. He is the one who took all of the pictures of me posted today. Thanks Ramon! Since my housing fell through the day before my race, I also got to stay with my good friend Philipe and his sister Catherine at their hotel. I love my friends! They and beautiful sunny days make my world go around!

Couple of Xterra Pics

2007-11-06T20:28:00.001-07:00

So the first two with just the trail run (Saturday). Working, but cool. Last two I was totally mangled from a rough swim and bike for the run (Worlds Race Sunday)!

November =Fall Weather

2007-11-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

Sweet! What a great weekend! On a freezing cold, yet beautiful and sunny morning, I raced my 'cross race without killing myself on the barriers. I found I get off and over them pretty fast. Getting back on is a very different story! After a quick dismount and run over the barriers, I then come to a complete stop and waste 10 seconds fiddling around with my pedals before I take off again. Not very efficient,yet very tri-geekish! That will be fixed by my next race after my 70.3 worlds race this weekend!

I finished third in the women's B group. Now I wish I would have gone harder. Aside from dinking around the barrier sections, I treated the race more like a warm-up. I then rolled past the finish line without realizing it was the finishat the end---ie-no sprint! I guess one of the guys from the men's C race broke his collar bone and so the officials were too busy too call our last lap. Of course I was also too dumb to notice (or I'd like to think slightly focused on the course?) that there was a lap counter. Needless to say I am frustrated because it would have been an easy second. Next time ladies, you girls are toast! :) That is another way to say, I have offically caught the cyclocross bug and will have a race face from here on out (of course a smiling one)--Thank you Art and Mr. Ohran.

I have a few pics from the men's A/masters race, but none of me. Oh well.

Matt at the start and Art showing how it's done on a tight corner

So if you want to find out what I did that night, look no further than www.artoconnor.com and he will tell you all about it.

Now today, other than showing up for bikram yoga an hour early (oops! daylight savings), I had a great day. Yoga, and a fantastic bike ride with the best company there is were the highlights! Oh how I love wearing shorts in 60 degree November weather!

Cylcocross, am I crazy?

2007-11-01T22:05:00.000-06:00

Well, I've been talking about racing 'cross for I dunno how long. Excuse after excuse, there are none left. Art found me a bike, 'Thanks Virginia', gave me a five minute cyclocross 101 lesson, and turned me loose. Let's put it this way, at least if anyone wants some really good entertainment on Saturday morning, you can head to Heber and find out what happens when a tri-geek goes X. This otta be good...!

2007-10-30T21:35:00.001-06:00

Here Goes!

2007-10-30T20:43:00.000-06:00

So I've been wanting to create a blog for about as long as I knew what one was. This means, not very long, but I like the idea of being able to let others check out what's going 0n in my life without my (a) making 37 phone calls in a day and completely toasting my eardrum (brain?) with my cell phone, or (b) completely screening all of my calls because I'm burned out from doing (a) the day before. All or nothing. That's me!

Okay, my first one is long because I just got back from Xterra Worlds in Maui and have all of that to talk about. Promise I won't always be long winded--well I think I promise. So, here goes.

Xterra World Championship 2007—Rachel Cieslewicz

Wow! Where do I start? I had such an amazing weekend. First of all, how can you not have a wonderful time in paradise? Second, combine that with the 2007 season finale of the best tri-race series there is. I am so lucky! Even luckier is the fact that I was riding the best mountain bike on the planet, my Cannondale Carbon Rush, which hands down is the most amazing machine I’ve ever ridden. Add this together with MonaVie Acai shots, and I felt awesome the entire two days of racing!

Back track to last year, I was taking regular gels, etc. Got sick to my stomach every race, and passed out twice at races half the distance. I now take the MonaVie gel shots in place of nasty sugar gels and have energy to spare--and the last thing on my mind is my stomach.

So along with feeling great, I also had phenomenal races! On Saturday, I raced the 11k trail run which is the same course set for Sunday’s Xterra championship. This race featured 82 women and 92 men from all over the world. I pulled of an incredible 2nd place women’s overall finish to the current world duathlon champion who also holds the women’s record for the Maui marathon. The other awesome thing is I was 7th overall which means only 5 men were ahead of me! Now, I don’t know where that came from. Most likely MonaVie had something to do with it!

The next day was the off-road triathlon world championship. The race started on a beautiful sunny morning. The waves were a bit choppy (3-5 foot swells), but hey, it’s Xterra! As per usual, the swim for me was pretty slow compared to many of my competitors (working on that one big time!). When I made it out of the water about mid-pack, I put on my game face and charged into the bike leg. Now, when you have a mass start of almost 600 churning up the water along with the waves, and the bike trail only has so many passable areas, I knew my work was cut out for me. I worked my way through the course at times being frustrated as my legs wanted to go faster than there was room for me to go, but I steadily passed other riders the entire way.

Luckily, it was a good karma day (or maybe it was my rock star bike) but I had zero mechanicals, no flat tires, and stayed upright the entire race. Unfortunately, literally dozens of my competitors did not fair so well—lots of broken bicycles, flat tires, and bloody bodies succumbed to the technical, lava filled course.

Coming off the bike leg and into the run, despite really starting to feel the heat, humidity, wind, and having possibly gone a little (lot?) too hard in my run the day before, I continued to pass people with steady grace. Running this hot, difficult, course for the second time in two days challenged me mentally and maxed me physically in the end, but I held tough.

At the end of the day, I had a smile on my face and a 5th place finish at my very first ever world championship! And what’s the most exciting thing of all? I’m just getting started! Next up, Ironman 70.3 World Championship in Clearwater, Florida, November 10…

Thanks for everything MonaVie and Cannondale!